Navigating your Desert

To help avoid confusion to begin with, I am not talking about navigating dessert but the desert.

Dessert (notice the 2 s's) is normally something sweet after a main course, and I am more than able to navigate dessert. 

I am talking about navigating your desert. In particular that sense, feeling, spiritual space, where your current journey feels like you are wandering through some sort of dry wasteland. Your spiritual desert.

And in the spirit of honesty, maybe you are like me, and have found this current season to easily be categorised like that. A journey that seems dry, maybe devoid of life sometimes, even with a dash of hopelessness?

I have been thinking about this recently and considering many aspects both natural and spiritual around the concept. 

Have even found myself researching what real deserts are like to be lost in. Even recalling the many stories and accounts I have come across in scripture on the same topic.

With all that in mind I wanted to get some help and encouragement for myself, which then leads to me wanting to share my discoveries with you in the hope that you might find this interesting and indeed helpful?

Here are some interesting little facts about deserts?

33% of the worlds ground area is apparently desert. 20% of Australia is classified as desert.

Don't eat the cactus unless you know which one you are dealing with, some will give you diarrhoea which is not helpful while you potentially a little dehydration.

I recognise fully that being in this dry place is scary, has the unknown of how long, and can feel to many very isolating. Please know others feel the same as you... 

Below I have a few points for you to consider if your current season could be considered something akin to a desert. 

Your desert is not your destination

A desert time, a dry time in lifes journey is just a season.

I have found I need to remind myself of that over and over again. Remind myself that at some point, even if I don't know exactly when, that how I feel and see my life now will not be the case at some point.

I take some encouragement from others who have journeyed through this time because they all came out the other side. You will as well!

It is normal to be tempted to give up

One of the most key moments of Jesus life was a time in the desert.

His experience was pretty extreme to say the least. 40 days of being hungry. Plus He was tempted on multiple occasions to give up. This devil fella turns up and tries to convince Him to give up on the dream He has for life once the desert time is over.

Maybe it is part of the whole "when will this be over?" vibe we wrestle with?

But don't give up even if you feel mega tempted to.

Giving up yes would bring relief for a moment, but it also could bring regret for a lifetime.

Desert time could be your preparation time

Can I reference Jesus another time in regards to this?

Many marvel at Jesus ministry on earth, how He healed and made whole, how He challenged and inspired with amazing words and ideas. But none of that happened until after the desert...

So maybe His desert experience wasn't just a blip on his life journey but more of a preparation for what was to come. That could be the very same for you my friend? Your desert experience could be preparing you for something better than what you had, did, or experienced before it began? So I guess not giving up part way through becomes even more important?

Finally...

I think it important to remind ourselves that being in a desert time is not a reflection of a lack of character, spiritual maturity, talent or more. It is part of life as difficult and many times unwanted as it is.

Your desert is not your destination.

Don't give up or give in to temptation.

And let it prepare you a for new season in life.

Something to think about...

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"I am embarrassed"

A question we ask each other in everyday speech especially around a greeting is "how are you?"

I not sure how people generally respond in your part of the world but in mine it is really common to hear responses like the following:

"I fine, how are you?" (even if it isn't true)

"I'm really busy?" 

But sometimes I want to reply...

"I am embarrassed!"

Why am I embarrassed you might next ask?

Did I do something recently that was by definition something that would stir feelings of embarrassment? 

What I am talking about is embarrassment that is on another level completely.

Embarrassment that is on the level related to shame and therefore wanting to potentially hide from others.

And please know I am not sharing this with some agenda to garner attention or manipulate a response. I am honestly sharing this because I am concerned that there are many who share the same shame from embarrassment and are possibly not sure what to do next...

Here are a couple of reasons why I feel embarrassment:

1. I failed

I was a Pastor of a local Church for 11 years and before that a Pastor on staff in some large Auckland Churches. Even with all that experience I failed to grow a Church. In fact it has now closed!

I have struggled many days to not feel like a complete failure. 

Most people wonder how on earth this is even possible.

For one, they considered the job so easy that it would seem incomprehensible that you could fail.

Others who know me cannot understand why someone with my gifts and abilities couldn't make it work?

Failure is part of life. But I guess it was magnified for me as I failed in a public forum.

Not succeeding in a career or marriage or some other important endeavour to you is very difficult to reconcile.

2. I take medication

The last few years have taken a huge toll on my health, physically and mentally.

And late last year I gave in and went to the doctor for help. 

I now am on medication for all sorts of things including ridiculous blood pressure and to help me sleep.

I have never thought worse of anyone needing medicine to help them and yet when I faced the same as those I have counselled over the years, I felt embarrassed that I now need the help they received.

Wasn't I a Pastor and someone with their life all sorted?

Wasn't I someone who was supposed to have answers?

So where to from here?

Be realistic and gentle

It is ok to feel embarrassed, to feel bad, but you need to give yourself a break.

I try to remind myself this is a season, a moment in time along life's journey. Who I am today and how I feel will hopefully not be who I am and how I feel forever.

It is right to look after myself. 

To take a break. To grieve. To get healing even with medication.

Being kind to yourself will do more good than you might realise.

Be honest with the right people.

A few good friends is what you need in this moment...not a crowd of so-called friends.

If you have even one friend that you can be honest with then you are already winning and finding your way back.

Stop living how others might expect.

I have been a people pleaser all my life. I can see that more clearly now. And it annoys me so much that I lived like that, because the price for it has been high!

You and I can only be who we have the gifts and capacity to be.

I wonder whether I was trying to live beyond even who God made me to be in some vain way to win approval and prove myself?

I have learned that I need to care a little less what people in general think of me. 

What God thinks about me. What those who care about me think about me. That is fine with me and all that matters...

It doesn't matter whether I need some medical/chemical help in this season, I am still me and that is ok. And if it helps me to recover than so be it!

Have a simple strategy on how to rebuild.

I used to have a diary to rival the best of those keeping busy. 

Now I fight to keep things a whole lot simpler.

The honest truth is that my capacity for "busy" has shrunk dramatically right now and I need to be ok with that.

I refuse to work 7 days a week anymore.

I refuse to complicate my life with lots of activity.

I have limits I have imposed on myself.

This is taking time, it is hard to shift in my psyche, but simple for me is better.

Is OK to say "No" sometimes. 

That is not a sign of weakness or laziness!

Listen to wise advice from others you trust and learn to listen to your body.

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If this struck a chord with you, I truly hope and pray this blog helps you in some way.

Yes by all means go after life, but also see it as a marathon not a sprint.

I believe in you. 

You have value. 

And if you need help for a season, that doesn't make you less than someone else.

Something to think about...

If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with something called Buy Me A Coffee - your support means the world to us!