tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-218489622024-03-14T10:08:42.824+13:00simple thoughtMuch is written on life and what it is all about. It seems many of us in this world don't believe that it is already all worked out.
The mystery of life is that we are all on a journey, a grand adventure that's personal to you. You are born and one day you will die, the bit in the middle is 'your' life.
What you do, what happens to you all matters.
This blog is all about looking at life. Helping you find some answers and helping you along your journey.Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.comBlogger817125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-74735483846212267962023-07-14T17:57:00.001+12:002023-07-14T17:57:30.782+12:00Overcooked or Undercooked Faith<div style="text-align: left;">Today I decided to take a break from podcasts or talk back radio on my drive home from a delivery I made. Flicked on my iTunes and it played More than Able by Elevation.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have heard it a few times and always enjoyed the musical space in the chorus but I also have to admit that I have a problem with it. Not the song really, but what it causes me to do, the reaction I have to it specifically. When I listen to it it makes me think and ponder many things. Some macro and some micro.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">For me personally I begin to question whether I really do believe the sentiment.</div><div style="text-align: left;">During the chorus is makes we consider whether I do believe God is more than able in my life or whether through all my hurts that my faith has been tarnished?</div><div style="text-align: left;">And then that phrase at end reflecting on whether God is finished with us yet, or us individually, that gets to me honestly, because I have many times wondered whether He has finished with me?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As I pondered this more and more I kept coming back to something that I have always believed from his word, that <i>faith is what pleases God</i>.</div><div style="text-align: left;">It is not the looking good. Or nailing some spiritual discipline for everyone to see. It seems to always come back to be faith.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So here I am pondering faith, my faith, where ever that might be...</div><div style="text-align: left;">And then I pictured others reaction to this song and the same sentiments.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have seen polarised positions on this recently.</div><div style="text-align: left;">One group are believing for amazing things. They are praying hard. They are responding in a worship service according, stirred to believe God is more than able as the song is sung.</div><div style="text-align: left;">There is another who struggles to believe God for anything beyond the most simple. Who look at the first group with a healthy dose of cynicism for their hyper faith.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Honestly it is easy to be in either camp!</div><div style="text-align: left;">You can be caught up in moment believing for the most amazing.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Or you can be practical, maybe even cynical in another moment in time.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">What I keep coming back to is personal.</div><div style="text-align: left;">It is not what the hyper faith believe or what the cynics say to counter things.</div><div style="text-align: left;">It is always what is happening in my heart that matters most.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So maybe what I am trying to say is this...</div><div style="text-align: left;">Don't compare you faith or passion or belief to everyone else like you have to compete to receive.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Don't allow your heart to explain things away, or be bitter due to hurt and cynicism.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Try and do faith just you and God in quietness and confidence.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Pray and allow God to shape faith in your life and do what you can to live by faith.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">That is part of my journey right now. Maybe that is part of yours as well?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Something to think about....</i></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-65423222009629941672023-01-26T12:41:00.006+13:002023-07-10T18:09:34.476+12:00I Learned...<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoRVCwlSvY8sZI55pQPUDJarJKEeWZa7t_PG2zdy3042RVO_rnhYk3wO41v30aVo-6QXP7UO6-Qw9TFJoaDOHAqHP1bwrWt-Fmssqll5sch0h0xGq-GCTKWVRzNfLlpDoOzeSf4DeRCGZk1oxyJbSa2sVkj4eytFu7GWgmrehWcsFUNFBr6g/s1080/@lockymcneill%20what%20I%20learned.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoRVCwlSvY8sZI55pQPUDJarJKEeWZa7t_PG2zdy3042RVO_rnhYk3wO41v30aVo-6QXP7UO6-Qw9TFJoaDOHAqHP1bwrWt-Fmssqll5sch0h0xGq-GCTKWVRzNfLlpDoOzeSf4DeRCGZk1oxyJbSa2sVkj4eytFu7GWgmrehWcsFUNFBr6g/s320/@lockymcneill%20what%20I%20learned.png" width="320" /></a></div>We launched our business after the first Covid Lockdown.</div><div>I had recently taken some much needed time off to reflect and recover (which has taken much longer than I expected to this day) after my previous career and role simply was not available to me anymore. And after much thought I decided to launch a business doing what I seemed to be good at historically, events.</div><div>Yes you guessed it. I launched an events business when you couldn’t actually do events. </div><div>Of course I didn’t know that was the reality. </div><div>I wasn’t trying to be clever. </div><div>It is just that no one knew the pandemic was not a few months and instead charged ahead for years.</div><div><br /></div><div>So what do you do when life has changed dramatically and even your best efforts to re-invent yourself in a new career isn’t going to plan?</div><div>What have I learned so far from this uncomfortable experience?</div><div><br /></div><div><b>I learned I needed to be flexible </b></div><div>When my business plan appeared to be a plan for failure pretty quickly I had to flex. I had to look at what other things I could do. </div><div>Yes a business plan should be precise and have measurable goals, and maybe I can get there one day when things are different. But my current success trajectory is based on me and my business being more flexible and responding to opportunities that I might think randomly come my way.</div><div>I say yes to new opportunities if they fit the skills we have.</div><div>I say yes to uncomfortable with the hope it develops us further into something pretty special.</div><div>I say no to needing to have all the answers why, and go with what is in front of me now.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>I learned I needed to keep learning</b></div><div>I have honestly loved learning things all my life. And in this season I am pushing myself to keep learning no matter what. To keep adding to my skills and understanding literally a little every single day.</div><div>When you are a little older and with a lot less energy reserve this is a challenge. But this world appears to belong to those who want to gain fresh understanding and an expanded skill base, without loosing your values!</div><div><br /></div><div><b>I learned that I was not superman </b></div><div>But I still have something to offer…</div><div>I spent too much time during my life on reflection trying to prove myself. In fact the best thing you could ever say to me for many years to motivate me was to tell me I couldn’t do something. That was one of my kryptonite’s. One of my triggers. So I worked stupidly hard to achieve the unachievable, with some sort of an undiagnosed superman complex.</div><div>Today I try and live different. </div><div>I am not superman but I am something the world needs. I have skills and values that just need a good home. It is better that I focus on the flex and the learning while growing into the best version of me. A version of Locky developed at a pace that makes better sense for where I am at now.</div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe one or all three of these points resonates in some way with you today?</div><div><br /></div><div>In full disclosure, when I say “learned” I probably mean “learning”.</div><div>This process hasn’t stopped for me. I am still trying to learn flexibility, to keep learning, and that I don’t have to be the super hero in every moment.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><br /><i><br /></i></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-90809900852861762022022-04-07T11:14:00.003+12:002022-04-07T11:14:28.320+12:00The What & The Why (YouTube Version)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUMcCm_GpZ8" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="327" data-original-width="573" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGlMT8W9pVCIiEwDv6Ja6VRGUNolQ2MyHrPaskop1-lQGtFZz0oxGVvYsfyB9-onhBu_j7QxWTNfdbURl_9_94W_UOh8aztiPsICe02Dr-wlMXN2vrzaZO3G5ZrW0-36JTVi6JuNh8-nfYw2TiVuMG_zLBqIfBDbUZPrjmKVNrAfdFbBAeeQ/w400-h228/Screen%20Shot%202022-04-07%20at%208.29.39%20AM.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Click on the image to watch the YouTube Clip</div><p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"></p><p><span style="text-align: center;"></span></p><div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with something called <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - your support means the world to us!</div></div></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-28115997056850476702022-03-31T10:07:00.001+13:002022-03-31T10:17:51.631+13:00The What & The Why<div style="text-align: left;">I want to share an approach with you that has helped me navigate life. I have simply called it "the What & the Why"...</div><div><br /></div><div>We can find it easy to notice <b><i>the What</i></b>.</div><div><i><b>The What</b></i> is generally obvious.</div><div>There comes meaning and relevance when we look at <b><i>the Why</i></b>.</div><div><div><i><b>The Why</b></i> is where we can begin to find answers, interpret meaning, discover those all important lessons to learn.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>Take what happened recently as a great example...</div><div>Academy Award winning actor Will Smith slapped a show host in the middle of proceedings.</div><div>That is <b><i>the What</i></b>.</div><div>It will probably be remembered and replayed for years to come. And it will at the very least be a meme that the internet community will revile in...well until the next "what moment" comes along that is big enough to overshadow it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Understanding <b><i>the Why</i></b> is something that I find brings meaning, understanding, context.</div><div>There was offence taken to a joke featuring Mr Smiths wife.</div><div>There seems to be history between the host and Mr Smiths wife, as she has been the basis of another joke at the same event years before. And maybe <i><b>the Why</b></i> could be found in the myriad of personal life choices this couple are currently navigating?</div><div><br /></div><div>In science it is easy to find a what, but <i><b>the Why</b></i>, well that is where the magic happens...</div><div>An apple fell on a mans head one day.</div><div><b><i>The What</i></b> was that the apple fell on his head.</div><div><i><b>The Why</b></i> began the journey to discover the universal truth of something we call gravity.</div><div><br /></div><div>For years I have been lovingly mocked in my household for my ongoing fascination with 20th Century history, in particular the major conflicts that marked that time period.</div><div>For me <b><i>the What</i></b> is obvious. Two World Wars were fought. Millions died. The world dramatically changed.</div><div><i><b>The Why</b></i> is what I look to to understand. To try and begin to make sense of it all.</div><div>Why did they happen? Who was key to the moments that lead to the war? What was the justification? Where was the motivation?</div><div><br /></div><div>Right now if you life you might be dealing with a lot of <i><b>the What</b></i>?</div><div>And it is possibly bothering you that you don't understand the meaning behind it? You maybe find it is hampering your progress? Maybe it is causing you unwanted pain?</div><div>Can I encourage you to not be afraid to look graciously, carefully, at <i><b>the Why</b></i>?</div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe you struggling with an addiction?</div><div>Or maybe a bad habit?</div><div>Stating again and again that you have one hasn't changed anything for you. It is simply stating for yourself the obvious.</div><div>When you begin to understand <b><i>the Why</i></b>, that is a powerful moment for you, and then in turn for those around you. Healing and hope can then begin to come.</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't think it is wrong to ask <b><i>the Why</i></b>, just be kind to yourself in the process.</div><div>Sometimes it can take a while and that is ok as well, you will get there.</div><div>And don’t expect to always like what you discover, but recognise the revelation of discovery is what you probably need.</div><div><br /></div><div>A brave person never just settles for <b><i>the What</i></b>, they press onto look at <b><i>the Why</i></b>.</div><div>A wise person carefully considers what they learn from this process and what, if any, response there should be.</div><div><br /></div><div><div><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with something called <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - your support means the world to us!</div></div></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-63691955888646506292021-11-11T15:49:00.003+13:002022-03-31T10:19:09.068+13:00Lumps [original song]<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByYidKaYO4I" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1121" data-original-width="2048" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEier_vnna7VvnKJhQsTJh0lEW5fxm9QYlHcCrX50aTbdhyard0xzWAtYTgiJ7l_dI9syjZPSO5qchW4Yo3rCnkatXSyPhHWG8yviFOL6iqfEWvgTjlICe1kvnnWO4O6HLT0oPHr/w400-h219/Screen+Shot+2021-11-10+at+5.16.13+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div><span style="text-align: center;"><div>Click on the image to watch the YouTube Clip</div></span><p></p><div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with something called <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - your support means the world to us!</div></div></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-23594900388361145712021-11-08T12:00:00.005+13:002021-11-17T10:58:59.541+13:00Life Long Learner (why you should consider being one)<div style="text-align: left;">When you approach life like this...with an attitude to always keep learning, then I truly believe the world is better for it, and you are better for it.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Life Long Learners</i> keep looking to learn from experiences. Good or bad.</div><div style="text-align: left;">They don't run from uncomfortable. They see life and the experiences it offers, to be an amazing teacher.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Life Long Learners</i> study subjects and ideas they are already familiar with and what they are not familiar with.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Life Long Learners</i> don't lose what they have already attained in regards to knowledge, understanding and interpretation, they continually enhance their knowledge, understanding and interpretation.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Life Long Learners</i> don't just study what they already know and agree with because that only brings reinforcement, not always revelation.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Life Long Learners</i> never assume they are always right, 100% right. They leave room for fresh revelation, even correction. They value and hold onto humility. They don't choke if they realise they have to say "I was wrong".</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Life Long Learners</i> seek to understand instead of undermining. They seek to engage before enrage. They seek to make others better and not just come across as superior.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Life Long Learners</i> don't run from what they don't like or don't currently understand. They take a breath, hatch a plan, and seek to learn how and why something is.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Life Long Learners</i> are the opposite of entrenched, polarised, populist, arrogant and multiple other negative connotations.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So be a <i><b>Life Long Learner</b></i>.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with something called <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - your support means the world to us!</div></div></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-61792378624655537262021-11-05T15:20:00.004+13:002021-11-05T15:20:59.294+13:00Change we choose vs Change we don't (YouTube Version)<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtaaYxtSyWk" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1016" data-original-width="1788" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdJq7WNoS_FvAtFwgh2TMa6zreu57M4OuCMJhyphenhyphengex9PgsKXc_OC9cjnGxDQWAublfUeFx_eF_aIRKTHjw7UD3kdeDuYh-aRwEEG2A1oWZ8YSPL3U3rKklo_jCGgRgJc4RZLaQo/w400-h228/Screen+Shot+2021-11-05+at+3.19.00+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Click on the image to watch the YouTube Clip</div><p></p>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-38619760276417910952021-11-02T21:24:00.004+13:002021-11-05T15:47:52.006+13:00Change we choose vs Change we don't <div style="text-align: left;">Lately I have been thinking about change we chose vs change that is forced on us.</div><div style="text-align: left;">And I think there is a difference, certainly in the way we feel about it, how we respond and more...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It wasn't that long ago where you couldn't enter most businesses especially banks, unless you removed hats, face coverings, anything that impaired their ability to see your face completely.</div><div style="text-align: left;">You will know that has all changed, especially here in New Zealand. </div><div style="text-align: left;">You currently can't enter any business or bank without looking like a modern day cowboy ready to rob it. We are all masked and covered.</div><div style="text-align: left;">We have had change forced upon us! And it feels different.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We face similar issues it seems in regards to our health.</div><div style="text-align: left;">You can make changes to get yourself healthy or the doctor could tell you change has to happen. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Or maybe you ignore the advice and live with the circumstances?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Again there seems a big difference between change we choose, that we feel is our choice, where we feel we have a measure of control verses the alternative.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">What I am trying to convey is this...</div><div style="text-align: left;">In life you actually get many choices. And one of them is to <i><b>own the change</b></i> you might recognise you need. You are smart enough to know change chosen by us as opposed to forced upon us, is inherently better.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So if this is speaking to you today?</div><div style="text-align: left;">Where you know you need to make a change...</div><div style="text-align: left;">Please be brave and make that change.</div><div style="text-align: left;">And if you need some help with it, ask for it, reach out to someone who could help you navigate the change you need right now in your life.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>*we have just posted a version of this blog as a vlog <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtaaYxtSyWk" target="_blank">here</a>*</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with something called <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - your support means the world to us!</div><div><br /></div></div></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-66773725886358211032021-10-28T16:19:00.004+13:002022-04-01T11:14:32.396+13:00Want to check out what we have been doing?<div style="text-align: left;">A couple of months ago we launched something called the <b>Real, Raw & Relevant Show with Locky McNeill</b>. </div><div style="text-align: left;">It has been an amazing experience so far!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Each show we talk about something that fits the title.</div><div style="text-align: left;">It has to be real, raw and relevant.</div><div style="text-align: left;">We kicked things off with the first 4 Episodes covering all sorts of angles related to mental health.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Yes we are going to go broader, but right now this theme is having an impact.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><b>Are you curious to see what we have been doing?</b></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Click on the image below for our YouTube Premier of Episode 4</div><div style="text-align: left;">Of course we welcome you to check out any of the other episodes from the show...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>Locky :)</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_FAbku3f-s" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img data-original-height="608" data-original-width="1080" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwq-58PvKMtwkVtZzK9C4pU10uhgCuv46zlLY2cYPRS-88QrzXnO4avsZqHx_6vMRnlkwOom_rqR2VL9f_nJIxFDy2HMRYGnBXyK4K7jH3Wq1U9O80uLne95wYA96oOfletBKD/w400-h225/TheRRRshow+Youtube+Banner-5.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br /></b></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-74150418637077256012021-09-16T12:08:00.001+12:002021-09-16T12:08:28.858+12:00We did it! We hosted our first live show!<p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVy0FEcxhFXoPkwJ9Eb7Y5eVRE2EKyHJnPRV72jOsiOXkfApnQsx6pLyAGmWFUalURQnImIBtLR1CfahYbFfuHC_Vz5tfO_ptaP1duUCzRtB-ormz7eMJbgcuA10vVIw7R78bF/s1080/TheRRRshow+Youtube+Banner.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="608" data-original-width="1080" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVy0FEcxhFXoPkwJ9Eb7Y5eVRE2EKyHJnPRV72jOsiOXkfApnQsx6pLyAGmWFUalURQnImIBtLR1CfahYbFfuHC_Vz5tfO_ptaP1duUCzRtB-ormz7eMJbgcuA10vVIw7R78bF/w400-h225/TheRRRshow+Youtube+Banner.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table>Last night we hosted the first ever episode of the Real, Raw & Relevant Show live on Facebook...<div>While I was pretty nervous it went well and we have had great feedback so far.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you would like to watch it on YouTube here is a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxeLWHg392g" target="_blank">link</a></div><div>And if you want to watch live make sure you jump on the shower <a href="https://www.facebook.com/theRRRshowwithLocky" target="_blank">Facebook page</a>.</div><div><br /></div><div>Talk to you soon...</div><div><br /></div><div>Locky :)<br /><p></p><div><br /></div></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-48890141147529777052021-08-25T10:54:00.005+12:002021-09-07T11:36:05.898+12:00Real, Raw & Relevant Show with Locky *postponed until 15th*<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQc9iNiUx95UwM2BzO2HyuiBo17kGZF1QyXuDD9irGNKe6d_cQyQEISmJGpRqhtn0GtkR2F7YA8JXvQF5VGLUR7qKl_EjrnNQtJq2Tm_MKq6vVeNFtB7zvjHnK1bKBi387rGGD/s1080/rrrshow2.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQc9iNiUx95UwM2BzO2HyuiBo17kGZF1QyXuDD9irGNKe6d_cQyQEISmJGpRqhtn0GtkR2F7YA8JXvQF5VGLUR7qKl_EjrnNQtJq2Tm_MKq6vVeNFtB7zvjHnK1bKBi387rGGD/s320/rrrshow2.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><div>Via Facebook Live and more...15th September due to a family bereavement <p></p><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with something called <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - your support means the world to us!</div><div><br /></div></div></div></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-33217370250233628872021-07-30T13:12:00.000+12:002021-07-30T13:12:02.679+12:00Navigating your Desert<div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxwMDy9YbBLhqqZYnalbVfXA7n9WNY8y9VJoqr3elVtji_dOEJgerRSp3TwySDNDt3fwaneHwaOMlFTkTgC1lpAYnPd_yVrnupzpWWApzuhzksEN3q-2v3TmYU2sXgUkUBjD6e/s1080/Navigating+the+Desert+Instagram+Post-3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxwMDy9YbBLhqqZYnalbVfXA7n9WNY8y9VJoqr3elVtji_dOEJgerRSp3TwySDNDt3fwaneHwaOMlFTkTgC1lpAYnPd_yVrnupzpWWApzuhzksEN3q-2v3TmYU2sXgUkUBjD6e/w200-h200/Navigating+the+Desert+Instagram+Post-3.png" width="200" /></a></div>To help avoid confusion to begin with, I am not talking about navigating dessert but the desert.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Dessert (notice the 2 s's) is normally something sweet after a main course, and I am more than able to navigate dessert. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I am talking about navigating your desert. In particular that sense, feeling, spiritual space, where your current journey feels like you are wandering through some sort of dry wasteland. Your spiritual desert.</div><div style="text-align: left;">And in the spirit of honesty, maybe you are like me, and have found this current season to easily be categorised like that. A journey that seems dry, maybe devoid of life sometimes, even with a dash of hopelessness?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have been thinking about this recently and considering many aspects both natural and spiritual around the concept. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Have even found myself researching what real deserts are like to be lost in. Even recalling the many stories and accounts I have come across in scripture on the same topic.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">With all that in mind I wanted to get some help and encouragement for myself, which then leads to me wanting to share my discoveries with you in the hope that you might find this interesting and indeed helpful?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Here are some interesting little facts about deserts?</div><div style="text-align: left;">33% of the worlds ground area is apparently desert. 20% of Australia is classified as desert.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Don't eat the cactus unless you know which one you are dealing with, some will give you diarrhoea which is not helpful while you potentially a little dehydration.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I recognise fully that being in this dry place is scary, has the unknown of how long, and can feel to many very isolating. Please know others feel the same as you... </div><div style="text-align: left;">Below I have a few points for you to consider if your current season could be considered something akin to a desert. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>Your desert is not your destination</b></div><div style="text-align: left;">A desert time, a dry time in lifes journey is just a season.</div><div style="text-align: left;">I have found I need to remind myself of that over and over again. Remind myself that at some point, even if I don't know exactly when, that how I feel and see my life now will not be the case at some point.</div><div style="text-align: left;">I take some encouragement from others who have journeyed through this time because they all came out the other side. You will as well!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>It is normal to be tempted to give up</b></div><div style="text-align: left;">One of the most key moments of Jesus life was a time in the desert.</div><div style="text-align: left;">His experience was pretty extreme to say the least. 40 days of being hungry. Plus He was tempted on multiple occasions to give up. This devil fella turns up and tries to convince Him to give up on the dream He has for life once the desert time is over.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe it is part of the whole "when will this be over?" vibe we wrestle with?</div><div style="text-align: left;">But don't give up even if you feel mega tempted to.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Giving up yes would bring relief for a moment, but it also could bring regret for a lifetime.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>Desert time could be your preparation time</b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Can I reference Jesus another time in regards to this?</div><div style="text-align: left;">Many marvel at Jesus ministry on earth, how He healed and made whole, how He challenged and inspired with amazing words and ideas. But none of that happened until after the desert...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So maybe His desert experience wasn't just a blip on his life journey but more of a preparation for what was to come. That could be the very same for you my friend? Your desert experience could be preparing you for something better than what you had, did, or experienced before it began? So I guess not giving up part way through becomes even more important?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Finally...</div><div style="text-align: left;">I think it important to remind ourselves that being in a desert time is not a reflection of a lack of character, spiritual maturity, talent or more. It is part of life as difficult and many times unwanted as it is.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Your desert is not your destination.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Don't give up or give in to temptation.</div><div style="text-align: left;">And let it prepare you a for new season in life.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with something called <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - your support means the world to us!</div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-45260202831140970052021-07-07T09:19:00.002+12:002021-07-07T09:31:52.356+12:00"I am embarrassed" <div>A question we ask each other in everyday speech especially around a greeting is "how are you?"</div><div>I not sure how people generally respond in your part of the world but in mine it is really common to hear responses like the following:</div><div><i>"I fine, how are you?" </i>(even if it isn't true)</div><div><i>"I'm really busy?"</i> </div><div><br /></div><div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrvxiUQOcMpNibXNIpf3qNdBn65yhYYw32YKu0h1q6DpqlNJ7hYc7lA-zy6GsXTq5FUKPFLnOzIXQhnwAPRBMrxK3gTpuQjaHo_CZDJLMfoZCufchFA6Cy2VDVt9GShwx0_YZG/s1080/White+Clouds.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrvxiUQOcMpNibXNIpf3qNdBn65yhYYw32YKu0h1q6DpqlNJ7hYc7lA-zy6GsXTq5FUKPFLnOzIXQhnwAPRBMrxK3gTpuQjaHo_CZDJLMfoZCufchFA6Cy2VDVt9GShwx0_YZG/w200-h200/White+Clouds.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table>But sometimes I want to reply...</div><div><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">"I am embarrassed!"</span></b></i></div><div><br /></div><div>Why am I embarrassed you might next ask?</div><div>Did I do something recently that was by definition something that would stir feelings of embarrassment? </div><div><br /></div><div>What I am talking about is embarrassment that is on another level completely.</div><div>Embarrassment that is on the level related to shame and therefore wanting to potentially hide from others.</div><div>And please know I am not sharing this with some agenda to garner attention or manipulate a response. I am honestly sharing this because I am concerned that there are many who share the same shame from embarrassment and are possibly not sure what to do next...</div><div><br /></div><div>Here are a couple of reasons why I feel embarrassment:</div><div><br /></div><div><b><span style="font-size: large;">1. I failed</span></b></div><div>I was a Pastor of a local Church for 11 years and before that a Pastor on staff in some large Auckland Churches. Even with all that experience I failed to grow a Church. In fact it has now closed!</div><div><br /></div><div>I have struggled many days to not feel like a complete failure. </div><div>Most people wonder how on earth this is even possible.</div><div>For one, they considered the job so easy that it would seem incomprehensible that you could fail.</div><div>Others who know me cannot understand why someone with my gifts and abilities couldn't make it work?</div><div><br /></div><div>Failure is part of life. But I guess it was magnified for me as I failed in a public forum.</div><div>Not succeeding in a career or marriage or some other important endeavour to you is very difficult to reconcile.</div><div><br /></div><div><b><span style="font-size: large;">2. I take medication</span></b></div><div>The last few years have taken a huge toll on my health, physically and mentally.</div><div>And late last year I gave in and went to the doctor for help. </div><div>I now am on medication for all sorts of things including ridiculous blood pressure and to help me sleep.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have never thought worse of anyone needing medicine to help them and yet when I faced the same as those I have counselled over the years, I felt embarrassed that I now need the help they received.</div><div>Wasn't I a Pastor and someone with their life all sorted?</div><div>Wasn't I someone who was supposed to have answers?</div><div><br /></div><div><b><span style="font-size: large;">So where to from here?</span></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Be realistic and gentle</b></span></div><div>It is ok to feel embarrassed, to feel bad, but you need to give yourself a break.</div><div>I try to remind myself this is a season, a moment in time along life's journey. Who I am today and how I feel will hopefully not be who I am and how I feel forever.</div><div><br /></div><div>It is right to look after myself. </div><div>To take a break. To grieve. To get healing even with medication.</div><div>Being kind to yourself will do more good than you might realise.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Be honest with the right people.</b></span></div><div>A few good friends is what you need in this moment...not a crowd of so-called friends.</div><div>If you have even one friend that you can be honest with then you are already winning and finding your way back.</div><div><br /></div><div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Stop living how others might expect.</b></span></div><div>I have been a <i>people pleaser</i> all my life. I can see that more clearly now. And it annoys me so much that I lived like that, because the price for it has been high!</div><div>You and I can only be who we have the gifts and capacity to be.</div><div>I wonder whether I was trying to live beyond even who God made me to be in some vain way to win approval and prove myself?</div><div><br /></div><div>I have learned that I need to care a little less what people in general think of me. </div><div>What God thinks about me. What those who care about me think about me. That is fine with me and all that matters...</div><div>It doesn't matter whether I need some medical/chemical help in this season, I am still me and that is ok. And if it helps me to recover than so be it!</div></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Have a simple strategy on how to rebuild.</b></span></div><div>I used to have a diary to rival the best of those keeping busy. </div><div>Now I fight to keep things a whole lot simpler.</div><div><br /></div><div>The honest truth is that my capacity for "busy" has shrunk dramatically right now and I need to be ok with that.</div><div>I refuse to work 7 days a week anymore.</div><div>I refuse to complicate my life with lots of activity.</div><div>I have limits I have imposed on myself.</div><div>This is taking time, it is hard to shift in my psyche, but simple for me is better.</div><div><br /></div><div>Is OK to say "No" sometimes. </div><div>That is not a sign of weakness or laziness!</div><div>Listen to wise advice from others you trust and learn to listen to your body.</div><div><br /></div><div>----------</div><div><br /></div><div>If this struck a chord with you, I truly hope and pray this blog helps you in some way.</div><div>Yes by all means go after life, but also see it as a marathon not a sprint.</div><div>I believe in you. </div><div>You have value. </div><div>And if you need help for a season, that doesn't make you less than someone else.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with something called <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - your support means the world to us!</div> </div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-43486050998100128032021-06-25T10:53:00.004+12:002021-06-25T10:53:33.962+12:00Coming this August!<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqm8W_jn5UmgL4IsHrZQyJR65sdxZABs6lcQoRAmkS7UIuhS1TEsXvgD2IDQDaepMjKOyylKHgdX7ZUsXQU4drQg_t4Lk_9qR8EJT086ZKuaxyUeoj9milqZ42CZLCJ-oezmgR/s1080/The+Real+Raw+%2526+Relevant+Show+Teaser-2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqm8W_jn5UmgL4IsHrZQyJR65sdxZABs6lcQoRAmkS7UIuhS1TEsXvgD2IDQDaepMjKOyylKHgdX7ZUsXQU4drQg_t4Lk_9qR8EJT086ZKuaxyUeoj9milqZ42CZLCJ-oezmgR/w400-h400/The+Real+Raw+%2526+Relevant+Show+Teaser-2.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: left;">That's right, we are launching an Online Show via Facebook Live and YouTube this August.<br />We are pretty excited about it and really hoping and praying it helps you on your journey in some way...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We still plan to publish Blog Posts so don't panic, we are not going away.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">God Bless</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Locky :)</div><p></p><p><br /></p>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-72807533750352764732021-06-04T18:34:00.002+12:002021-06-04T18:34:39.960+12:00We have a question for you<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWz_VpMqebMdAdh9UDBmLgx0FaGGW2fwZ6oN5C-_MYhaBgLYnUCTUGrzNz8xfi6SbSMGSlO0RsH6zNMVmTEjmbQ9UTnzkvW8q8cwB-8PEyyy8SEEwllgK2hJYQok4jAJIZxacV/s1080/The+Real+Raw+%2526+Relevant+Show+Teaser.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWz_VpMqebMdAdh9UDBmLgx0FaGGW2fwZ6oN5C-_MYhaBgLYnUCTUGrzNz8xfi6SbSMGSlO0RsH6zNMVmTEjmbQ9UTnzkvW8q8cwB-8PEyyy8SEEwllgK2hJYQok4jAJIZxacV/w400-h400/The+Real+Raw+%2526+Relevant+Show+Teaser.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-74925686602507229312021-05-29T18:41:00.002+12:002021-05-29T18:56:15.697+12:00How can you help? (helping someone facing burnout)<div style="text-align: left;">You may have asked yourself at some point <i><b>"how can you help?"</b></i></div><div style="text-align: left;">Wondered what does helping someone dealing with burnout possibly look like?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Based on my own very personal experience as I journey through this and doing a whole lot of reading and research on this topic, I have boiled down my advice on how you could possibly help someone navigating this season. </div><div style="text-align: left;">It is purposefully short because this is actually the point for me and others on this journey.</div><div style="text-align: left;">People with burnout simply cannot deal with convoluted and overly complicated recovery plans.</div><div style="text-align: left;">You are tired. Your brain is tired. Your soul is weary. </div><div style="text-align: left;">So simple is best for us.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So here are my 4 quick tips...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: medium;">1. Avoid trying to <u>fix</u> us</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Seek to journey with us as opposed to giving your all in a moment.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Your 5 best tips for a better life won't be received in the manner you would like.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div>Those who are "fixers" are super quick to try and fix you with their unsolicited (at times) quick fire advice.</div><div>Those who are "explainers" want to drill deep and fast, many times attributing blame thick and heavy, and then layering it up with endless advice.</div><div>Even with the best of intentions fixers and explainers come across as <i>"I am doing great, you're doing not so great, therefore I am better than you."</i></div><div><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: left;">There is a a concept in Jewish culture I have always found fascinating.</div><div style="text-align: left;">It is called in English - <i>sitting shiva</i>. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Essentially the idea is all based around simply sitting with someone who is grieving, struggling, facing loss on some level. You shut up. You listen. You support and show love just by being there with in their moment of struggle and need.</div><div style="text-align: left;">If they want to talk that is fine, but you do it on their terms.</div><div style="text-align: left;">You are purposefully tempering your response. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Advice giving is by invitation only and then kept simple.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Simple is best and little is even better.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Trust me, we feel bad enough as it is. </div><div style="text-align: left;">We blame ourselves with a level of self loathing you can not comprehend. </div><div style="text-align: left;">But you being there will speak love at a level deeply unique.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: medium;">2. Simply <u>listen</u> to us</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe it is because we want to simplify the way the world works for our benefit and ease of understanding? We seem to expect everyone is the same because we are all human.</div><div style="text-align: left;">But I have been reminded many times over in my life that while that is true, we are hugely nuanced as individuals. Our upbringing, experiences and even responses create in us subtle differences. Differences not to be frowned upon. Actually to ultimately be embraced.</div><div style="text-align: left;">That is why this point follows the first. The fixer mentality is doubly wrong because we aren't all the same. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Being told that they understand when they don't is really frustrating. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Even if you think you do, my friend you simply don't.</div><div style="text-align: left;">And burned out people don't expect you to understand but hope you might listen...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ask how they feel.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Ask how they are going.</div><div style="text-align: left;">And if they don't want to talk, just hangout.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Trust me in this. A burned out person is very torn...</div><div style="text-align: left;">On one hand we want to run and hide and on the other we are desperately lonely.</div><div style="text-align: left;">A gentle and genuine friend, even for a moment, does something for you that you can not always put into words.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: medium;">3. See how you can <u>journey</u> with us</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">A journey is what we are on.</div><div style="text-align: left;">And if you want to help, you join us on the journey...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Look for ways to encourage us. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Burned out people have normally lost their confidence and confidence takes times to rebuild in any meaningful way. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It is probably going to take longer than you think for us to come "right", whatever that means and looks like going forward.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Trust me, we are more frustrated over the recovery time than you ever will be. And if we pick up on the fact you are frustrated at some lack of perceived recovery progress, well that reinforces the sense of failure and frustration we live with.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Simply and wisely pick a pattern of contact that is slow and steady.</div><div style="text-align: left;">That works best for us and should take all the pressure off you.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: medium;">4. Speak <u>well</u> of us</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">We are specially tuned to negative. </div><div style="text-align: left;">We feel like a failure. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Everything around us reminds us that the sense of failure is a true and lived reality.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It doesn't always matter that you as a friend or support person sees us as unique, talented etc. We see ourselves as fallen and broken and even potentially now worthless. That is why many contemplate the ultimate checkout. We feel we have lost so much and the clouds in our head prevent us from seeing how life could even be better.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Speak well of us to our face.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Speak well of us behind our back.</div><div style="text-align: left;">And if you are a praying person, speak well of us to God...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: medium;">You can be part of someones recovery!</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">You have an opportunity to make a difference in someones life that they will indeed never forget. </div><div style="text-align: left;">That is pretty unique and honourable in my opinion. </div><div style="text-align: left;">And we all want to make a difference right?</div><div style="text-align: left;">Well this could be your divine opportunity....</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So if you know someone like me on this particular journey please don't just give them space. Space eventually turns into distance, which turns into perceived loss. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Wisely, graciously, prayerfully, gently grab these tips and be heaven on earth to that dear one facing this unenviable journey.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with something called <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - your support means the world to us!</div></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-10022284967780067372021-05-06T11:27:00.000+12:002021-05-06T11:27:08.804+12:00Real, Raw, Relevant<div style="text-align: left;">If you asked me in a conversation <i>"how many Facebook friends do you have?"</i>, to my shame now and over the years of being on social media, I could probably answer you exactly, to the number.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I wonder if you are like me and now think that is kind of weird?</div><div style="text-align: left;">This strange I guess pathological desire or need to have a large so-called friend group.</div><div style="text-align: left;">To have a platform, an audience, a crowd that we hope we can impress on some level and desperately hope that will cheer us on.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As part of this current life and recovery journey I have been on I have learned again that in regards to friends, and I mean true friends, less in not a bad thing. It is actually the best thing!</div><div style="text-align: left;">Quantity is definitely not guaranteed to bring quality. </div><div style="text-align: left;">And "the right" friends is so much more conducive to my recovery.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe you buck this trend...well good for you!</div><div style="text-align: left;">But sadly most of us have drunk the cool-aid.</div><div style="text-align: left;">We get some sense of value from having as many social media friends as possible.</div><div style="text-align: left;">The idea that maybe lots of friends will make you "feel" more accepted, valued and even encouraged.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As a Pastor our time is strangely split between crowds and one on one interactions.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Sundays or specials events is your crowd moment face to face. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Then we have a crowd we have following our blogs, listening to our podcasts, watching our 'gram' pics with our ministry highlights.</div><div style="text-align: left;">One on one we seek to help those wrestling with whatever they are facing. Hoping our advice/ministry <br />could be the difference maker in that moment.</div><div style="text-align: left;">We ride a paradox of never alone and yet sometimes feeling very alone.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When our 'ministry' came to a screeching halt last year this all became very real, raw and relevant for me to somehow deal with, to navigate out of, and build a slightly different existence.</div><div style="text-align: left;">I discovered that friends who I thought were friends simply weren't.</div><div style="text-align: left;">I discovered the crowds disappeared like a chocolate bar in our home - very quickly!</div><div style="text-align: left;">And I also discovered something very cool...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I will come back to that very soon - but first can I talk about this Jesus guy (please don't freak out if he is not your thing right now)?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The other day I was driving home from one of my many part time contract roles I do now. Thinking about how this Jesus guy was purportedly the greatest person ever to exist and yet he didn't have many friends!</div><div style="text-align: left;">History tells us he picked 12 guys to be his disciples and learn from him. And when it came to very personal and special moments, he only included a small group of 3.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Was it because he was not cool? Was his social media cred not on point?</div><div style="text-align: left;">I realised that Jesus had a few close friends because that is what worked best for him.</div><div style="text-align: left;">And I have learned in this season that a few great friends is all I really need.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Jesus example I think is a great example for us all...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have some amazing people in my life right now.</div><div style="text-align: left;">People I feel I can be real, raw and relevant with.</div><div style="text-align: left;">I would name them but that would probably embarrass them. </div><div style="text-align: left;">They have made all the difference for me and I am extremely grateful.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe you recognise the trap now that might have been set for you?</div><div style="text-align: left;">That bait of popularity, of persona based on nothing more than a reader digest highlight real.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe you feel lonely in the crowd?</div><div style="text-align: left;">My friend don't do anything rash, simply focus on have a few great friends. Cultivate a few special friendship where you can be real, raw and relevant with.</div><div style="text-align: left;">In my opinion it is far healthier and will help you navigate life so much better.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with something called <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - your support means the world to us!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYM_Hzh7Bj5Vws6rMNDBuXxPSa0rsPI_TxJc5kPrmbPV5PHRwgSIriFl-jJGzGM5BxsF-1TrS06P4TbR6Y6DNxV-YEXjZ2Cq8raPtUcreJs7cpxmacvrhGDjOLFjUAH_LsRyLT/s1080/LOCKY+BLOG+QUOTES.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYM_Hzh7Bj5Vws6rMNDBuXxPSa0rsPI_TxJc5kPrmbPV5PHRwgSIriFl-jJGzGM5BxsF-1TrS06P4TbR6Y6DNxV-YEXjZ2Cq8raPtUcreJs7cpxmacvrhGDjOLFjUAH_LsRyLT/w400-h400/LOCKY+BLOG+QUOTES.png" width="400" /></a></div></div></div><div><br /></div></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-66630647580770816512021-04-21T12:35:00.002+12:002021-04-21T18:15:52.846+12:00Hurt<div>I have discovered recently that there are definitely some pieces of advice that are super easy to give and super difficult potentially to enact in life.<br />Not impossible. Just difficult.</div><div><br /></div><div>For many years I promoted some "biblical" advice or instruction on a topic I was passionate about. I never portrayed it as super easy but something I strongly recommended if you want to do this life thing well.</div><div>I painted a picture for my listeners or readers of the easy steps one could take. I promoted strongly the super obvious benefits of going through this process.</div><div>I even regaled the audience with stories of my own past success in this area, in the hope it would encourage them to believe it was possible for them as well.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Then last year happened...</i></div><div><br /></div><div>I am not talking about Covid-19 even though it played a small part.</div><div>I am not talking about the changed world in general and way of life for us all.</div><div>My life changed dramatically in the middle of the year when I found myself unemployed from what many would consider a stable, if not dramatic for most, career path as a Pastor.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have shared in previous posts since that time that I have been on a journey of navigating burnout.</div><div>But burnout was not the only reason I found myself in this unenviable position at my stage of life.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sadly many other people played a role in my departure from formal Church ministry.</div><div>For reasons only truly known to them, they decided the 'right thing' to do, was to leave our Church and encourage as many others as possible to do exactly the same thing.</div><div>They were people very close to us.</div><div>They were people seen as important, influential, even considered knowledgeable.</div><div>So why wouldn't people believe the bad report they gave out generously?</div><div><br /></div><div>Many many things were said about me and my family.</div><div>Many accusations were made.</div><div>While they probably have 'good reasons' for their desire to move on, from what I had fed back to me, most of their statements were untrue and some were downright slanderous lies. </div><div><br /></div><div>Even as I type this some 7-8 months later, I honestly find it painful to think about.</div><div>Something in my heart hurts to some degree.</div><div>Time may have dulled the acute pain, but something is still there.</div><div>And that is what I want to share about today...</div><div><br /></div><div>I know in my heart of hearts, in the very core of my being, that I need to forgive them.</div><div>But honestly part of me doesn't want to.</div><div>I don't want to forgive them at all.</div><div><br /></div><div>Part of me is wanting revenge.</div><div>Part of me is hoping they suffer some repercussions for their role in my sadness.</div><div>I have found myself reviewing my so called great advice on forgiveness and realising it is not as easy as I hoped...</div><div><br /></div><div>Please note - I am not going to share specifics!</div><div>The very last thing I want to ever do is go on some campaign to over defend myself even in light of the dribble spoken against me. I will not counter their destructive campaign with one of my own.</div><div>Even this week someone who had heard of me wanted to speak about it. They are friends with everyone who played a part in my demise. And inside I wanted to let rip. Oh boy I did. Thinking great, here is my shot to peg back the score a little in my favour. </div><div>Gratefully something else inside of me tempered my response.</div><div><br /></div><div>So right now I am honestly working through how to forgive those who hurt me, my family and the Church I proudly was leading with every ounce of my being.</div><div><br /></div><div>A famous man from Bible times penned these words a long time ago and boy do they ring true for me...</div><div><br /></div><div><div><span style="color: #666666;">It is not an enemy who taunts me—</span></div><div><span style="color: #666666;">I could bear that.</span></div><div><span style="color: #666666;">It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me—</span></div><div><span style="color: #666666;">I could have hidden from them.</span></div><div><span style="color: #666666;">Instead, it is you—my equal, </span><span style="color: #666666;">my companion and close friend.</span></div></div><div><b>Psalm 55:12-14</b> NLT</div><div><br /></div><div>Jesus was having conversation about the dreaded forgiveness topic one day and responded to a question from one of his friends.</div><div><br /></div><div><div><span style="color: #666666;">Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”</span></div><div><span style="color: #666666;">Jesus rep-lied "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."</span></div></div><div><b>Matthew 18-21-22</b> NIV</div><div><br /></div><div>Notice how it is always the person or people close enough to be a type of family member that forgiveness seems inexplicably linked to...and that is the point I think.</div><div>That is where the most hurt can potentially come from.</div><div>And that is why forgiveness is sooooo important.</div><div>It seems really at the end of the day the only way out from the pain we might be carrying.</div><div>It is the mechanism to release something we can't carry without extending the damage bitterness brings.</div><div><br /></div><div>So yes I will continue to walk the burnout recovery journey.</div><div>I will continue to rebuild my life and some form of career.</div><div>Plus right now I am also navigating forgiving those who hurt me.</div><div><br /></div><div>As Jesus famously said on that horrible cross, <i>"Father forgive them, they have no idea what they are doing."</i> </div><div>I want that to grow as my hearts biggest cry going forward somehow.</div><div>To be the biggest underline of that horrible moment in my life.</div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe you have been hurt at some stage by someone very close to you? I am so sorry that happened to you! I think I now have a measure of understanding of what it might have been like for you...</div><div>May you find the grace and space to explore forgiveness just as I am endeavouring to.</div><div>May we both grow from this hurt to a healthier place.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - I love coffee!</div></div><div><br /></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-76223091328213847032021-04-13T19:44:00.001+12:002021-04-14T09:18:35.101+12:00What do I need to "own"?<div style="text-align: left;">I have learned a lot about myself post since my lowest point.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><div>And I can honestly see and identify some areas I need to "own" and take more responsibility for.</div><div><br /></div><div>You see the problem with burnout and the hurt related emotions you end up lumped with, is that you want to blame something or someone. </div><div>I need you to know that I am part of the burnout problem. </div><div>I helped get myself to this point.</div><div><br /></div><div>Others did things that hurt me and pushed it over the edge as they say, but they are not totally to blame. </div><div>There have been parts of my make-up, my responses (and sometimes lack of), that set this up for me many many years ago.</div><div>That's why as part of my healing I need to "own" what I didn't do right. "Own" what was from my corner all along.</div><div>If I don't do this I am afraid I will never fully recover.</div><div>I am guaranteed to repeat my mistakes.</div><div>And I fear I could become bitter...</div><div><br /></div><div>So here we go. Here is my clumsy attempt of "owning" how I found myself burned out.</div><div>This is not a self deprecating move. </div><div>It is not a feel sorry for me cry.</div><div>It is simply part of my recovery process.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>My boundaries</b></div><div><br /></div><div><i>"Sacrifice will lead to success".</i></div><div><i>"If I just work hard there will be a reward".</i></div><div>Those and similar concepts have forever resounded with me. I value working hard and knowing I have worked hard. </div><div><br /></div><div>Working hard is not a bad thing. </div><div>But not stopping working hard is!</div><div><br /></div><div>I have discovered through this process that I had very little in the way of healthy boundaries. </div><div>If it was work or ministry related I said yes, then yes again, and then yes some more. </div><div>Even if it was hurting, I was still hunting down the work.</div><div>When I finally stopped full-time ministry I had 40+ weeks of annual leave owing, not including a sabbatical I never took!</div><div><br /></div><div>I ignored how even Jesus would retreat for seasons, times, and moments.</div><div>Jesus had boundaries and yet I didn't? </div><div>Who was I to think I didn't need more rest?</div><div><br /></div><div><b>My insecurity</b></div><div><br /></div><div><i>"If I stop it might all fall apart".</i></div><div>In hindsight maybe it would have, maybe it wouldn't have? I will never know!</div><div>What I do know is that my insecurity caused me to not have boundaries and hold tightly to far too much in ministry.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now I see it so easy in my life.</div><div>I recognise the gut emotion and gut feel of it.</div><div>And I see it all around me.</div><div><br /></div><div>You see it is easy to 'spiritualise' some decisions as a leader to try and mitigate your insecurity. I have to own that. And as a side note to other leaders who might be reading this, if you are concerned you be insecure, take some time out to deal with it before it tips you over.</div><div><br /></div><div>There are two parts of this for me.</div><div>The holding of things because you are insecure.</div><div>And then part 2 for yours truly - tipping over to people pleasing.</div><div>My insecurity led me to not want to upset more than I should have let it.</div><div>I avoided tough conversations. Leadership moments that would have been tough were avoided if possible.</div><div>Again that hurt me.</div><div><br /></div><div>Right now I am exploring carefully this area.</div><div>Trying to focus on what I am good at or talented at.</div><div>Learning to ignore those people who are out there looking to tell you how much you suck.</div><div><br /></div><div>At the end of the day I need to be the me that God wanted me to be all along. That is a journey, it takes time, and I need to "own' it. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>My stubbornness </b></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When I left my hometown in the 90's to seek my fame and fortune as a Rock-god it would be fair to say not many people thought it was a good idea. </div><div style="text-align: left;">I had not much money. Not much skill. And just a crazy dream.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Part of my DNA is "I want to prove you wrong", meaning, if you say I can't do it, I will do it to prove you wrong.</div><div style="text-align: left;">This is as you might guess - good and bad.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Good if you have a dogged determination to live a God given dream, task etc.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Deadly if you are just being stubborn...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I am "owning" this emotion and drive.</div><div style="text-align: left;">I am now stubbornly trying to resolve its best fit in my life. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>My leadership</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Honestly, one of things that attracts me to Jesus is His leadership style.</div><div style="text-align: left;">He seemed sure of himself, knew His role, knew His people and was marked by a <u>willingness to serve</u>.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Here is what I need to "own"</div><div style="text-align: left;">I probably focused on the servant leadership without developing the other skills He modelled.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe because I thought it would be enough? That if I just served to the point of blowing up, that people would get it, they would respond, that things would work.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Well news flash - they didn't!</div><div style="text-align: left;">I burned myself out.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Leadership is a gift <u>and</u> a skill.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><div>The skill part I believe is developed by what you learn from others and implementing their strategies.</div><div>What I need to "own" going forward is to grow in other leadership capacities.</div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>My healing</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">A blind man heard Jesus walking down the road one day. I love what he does next!</div><div style="text-align: left;">He gets up, throws off his beggars cloak, and boldly asked Jesus for healing.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Hiding in place somewhere safe will give me respite but not healing.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Time does not heal all wounds.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I am exploring all sorts of ways to get healed. </div><div style="text-align: left;">From trying new things, accepting new opportunities and reviewing my workload.</div><div style="text-align: left;">I have been working with my doctor to address my blood pressure and anxiety.</div><div style="text-align: left;">I have been working super slow on my physical fitness, not wanting to put the burden of going fast on this and getting disappointed.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I want to get better...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">My hope in sharing some of this, as briefly as this <i>simple thought</i> allows, is that someone else might have the courage to recover and heal as I am in the process of. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - I love coffee!</div></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-61246345491364028212021-03-19T17:50:00.000+13:002021-03-19T17:50:08.631+13:00Make adjustments...it doesn't make you a failure!<div style="text-align: left;">When I watch some of my favourite sports live, or on tv, there is a reoccurring theme at halftime during these games. The players and coach sit down and review their game-plan that they began their epic battle with, and do something mysterious...they make adjustments!</div><div style="text-align: left;">It is not about being right or wrong, it is about adjusting to the unforeseen, looking for ways to improve, because they ultimately know that without some adjustment they could lose.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I sometimes think we are scared of making adjustments to our lives.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Like some sort of pride trap that locks us on a trajectory, where we just hope and pray that we don't lose in the end.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Making adjustments to your life at times is in fact wisdom. </div><div style="text-align: left;">It is not failure. It is not an admission of fault. It is not a sign of weakness.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Paul wrote some very wise words to his young protege Timothy...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>"Watch your life and doctrine closely..."</i> <b>1 Timothy 4:16 NIV</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This I believe is an all encompassing game-plan/strategy for anyone's life, whether you're a person of faith or not, that you should take time to review your life's game-plan, your direction, and then make any necessary adjustments.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Take it from me I know this only toooooo well! After not taking this advice on board over many years I drove myself into the ground and burned myself out. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Looking back I doggedly determined to stay focused on the goal and push, push, push.</div><div style="text-align: left;">The problem was not the goal, but how I was getting myself there. I needed adjustment long before adjustment was forced upon me.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Don't be me LOL.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Can I encourage you today to make time, even a moment over the next few days, to review your trajectory?</div><div style="text-align: left;">Pray, meditate, strategise, and make adjustments if and where you might need to.</div><div style="text-align: left;">I think it is worth the investment in yourself.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - I love coffee!</div></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-11020082887712298302021-03-10T10:47:00.003+13:002021-11-12T09:21:39.634+13:00I Used To...<div style="text-align: left;">Have you found yourself saying to someone or even simply thinking to yourself <i>"<b>I used to...</b>"</i>?</div><div style="text-align: left;">This is in reference to something you used to do.</div><div style="text-align: left;">That maybe you were good at.</div><div style="text-align: left;">That maybe brought you great satisfaction.</div><div style="text-align: left;">That maybe you thought was a great fit for you...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I am not talking about a season in life. Where that thing you used to do was something you know in your heart was just supposed to be for that particular season.</div><div style="text-align: left;">I am talking about something profoundly more special that was part of the unique formula that makes you you. Something that helped show the world small or big, just who you were to the world, and the place you could have in it.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Lately I have been thinking about one of my <i>"<b>I used to...</b>"</i>.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Something that gave me amazing satisfaction on the inside. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Something that helped me communicate my thoughts, emotions and ultimately my heart.</div><div style="text-align: left;">That even helped me process different thoughts and events in my life.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>I used to...write songs...</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have written hundreds of them over my lifetime.</div><div style="text-align: left;">The first one was when I began to learn the piano at a young age about flying into space. I had only been getting lessons for a few weeks and yet I wanted to create my own music.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Later that progressed to writing lyrics in the first band I was in before we transitioned to me being the primary songwriter. All through my late teens and early twenties, in whatever sphere I was in, bands, Church, whatever, I just wrote songs to fit the place I found myself.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Now here I am as you know, navigating burnout recovery and pondering whether I should be doing it again. Trying to reconcile whether that season had passed in my life or whether I had simply neglected a gift that helped me be me.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Last week I decided to stop thinking about it and just give it another go.</div><div style="text-align: left;">The moment I did, the indecision of many years dropped off and something that seemed dormant in my spirit woke up. I wrote my first song in something like 14 years!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIi-ZjCCIGYG-kPUB34pgo0WUgnCvqZxbEGwEox678dTOOewRZnAz_qeT0Bil3VCZctEhp5yK1ygno1mOqOtm-g8HmS84-_uen1t552ekdzOjfKFDrkW2Mpn2NhpgIDBuV1D8W/s919/IMG_0074.heic" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="919" data-original-width="689" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIi-ZjCCIGYG-kPUB34pgo0WUgnCvqZxbEGwEox678dTOOewRZnAz_qeT0Bil3VCZctEhp5yK1ygno1mOqOtm-g8HmS84-_uen1t552ekdzOjfKFDrkW2Mpn2NhpgIDBuV1D8W/s320/IMG_0074.heic" /></a></div>The next step was to play it someone. That is the bit I have not always enjoyed to be honest. That vulnerable moment when you feel exposed to others, and their opinion of it. </div><div style="text-align: left;">So I skipped the play it to my wife step (sorry Suze!) out of my insecurity and quietly dropped it into my set last Sunday as I played an acoustic gig at the local markets.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So far I have had great feedback which is real nice and a huge relief. But that is not the real issue here as you might have already guessed?</div><div style="text-align: left;">The issue is that I am in part a songwriter. I need to own it.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Whether I am good is not the point, it is simply how I am wired and in the end should be.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe this is something that strikes a nerve with you today?</div><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe you have an "<b>I used to...</b>" in your own life that you have been thinking about recently or this blog stirs to memory?</div><div style="text-align: left;">Why not explore it and see if it is something for now, something that is part of your expression to the world?</div><div style="text-align: left;">I believe it will make a difference to you and all those around you!</div><div style="text-align: left;">I believe that for any of us to be whole we must own the gifts we have been given. Anything less makes us just that little less than who we can ultimately be.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>*Update November 2021 here is a link to a little recording we did of the song <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByYidKaYO4I" target="_blank">Lumps</a>*</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i>Do what you did at first</i> <b>Revelation 2:5</b></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i>Do not neglect your gift</i> <b>1 Timothy 4:14</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - I love coffee!</div><div><h4></h4></div></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-16721762183945798582021-02-26T18:19:00.000+13:002021-02-26T18:19:51.337+13:00How Long? (When will I be back to normal?)<div>It is 100% normal to ask "<i>how long?</i>" when it comes to burnout and your recovery?</div><div>I have asked this question.</div><div>Many others before me have asked that same question.</div><div>The "w<i>hen will I be back to normal?" </i>sentiment.</div><div>At this point some of my friends are being cheeky and muttering under their breath that I was never normal - but that is some fun for another day...</div><div><br /></div><div>The "<i>how long?</i>" is not something I have thought lots about, but it has been in the back of my mind.</div><div>It also seems to come up when people ask how I am and how I am tracking.</div><div>I have even heard it said that the length of time it takes to recover can sometimes match how long it took to get into this situation in the first place. At first glance that could sound a little depressing but further down this little blog I hope to address that concept.</div><div><br /></div><div>Like I have already mentioned this question has been around a long time.</div><div>"<i>How long?</i>" was asked by many many people in the Bible as they waited for Heavens help, rescue, supply, and as they looked in faith to God. </div><div>The super famous music supergroup U2 even wrote a song around this question called 40, which is riddled with the same question and sentiment. Ironically it looks like they have been influenced by some Bible verses as well if you look closely at the lyrics.</div><div><br /></div><div>Here is my current thinking on this...</div><div><br /></div><div><div>Burnout recovery is not a moment, it is a 100% process.</div><div>It takes time to get burned out, and it makes sense to me that it will probably take time to come back out.</div><div><br /></div><div>What I think that personally helps me on the burnout recovery journey is to see it in terms of process.</div><div>A step by step. Week by week movement towards being better.</div><div>Why did I say week by week? </div><div>I have learned that you can have good and bad days. A bad day doesn't indicate anything other than a bad day. I think a broader approach is better for your assessment towards being back.</div><div>It is all about little steps. Or progress. And on a scale that isn't too fast and painful the other way.</div><div><br /></div><div>Seeing yourself getting fractionally better is better than spiralling further into that burnout hole.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have actually begun to see burnout in part like a wind up.</div><div>Picture yourself internally turning and turning in one direction again and again.</div><div>Burnout to me feels like that internally. </div><div>You are wound up so tight that at your lowest point you feel you cannot take anymore winding. That maybe one more twist would end you emotionally, physically or worse.</div><div>Conversely if you try and unwind yourself too fast you will probably go flying. The better approach is slowly unwinding and unpacking and even unlearning some really unhelpful ways of living life.</div><div><br /></div><div>So if this is you? If you feel burned out and like a tightly wound string?</div><div>Don't stress about the speed to being recovered. </div><div>Just take it slow. Slow allows you to pace yourself. To notice things and learn. To avoid healing pains, and yes, that is a thing...</div><div><br /></div><div>If it helps, please know God is walking through your recovery valley with you, even if it's not clear that He is.</div><div><br /></div></div><div><div><i>Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint;</i></div><div><i>heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.</i></div><div><i>My soul is in deep anguish.</i></div><div><i>How long, Lord, how long?</i></div></div><div><b>Psalm 6:2-3</b> NIV</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - I love coffee!</div><div><h4></h4></div></div><div><br /></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-73575813267664812102021-02-17T12:45:00.005+13:002021-04-14T09:21:10.860+12:00My Burnout Recovery Plan<div>I have been hesitant to publish this post as I recognise that I have not fully recovered from my burnout yet.</div><div>Making declarations about what might be working for me and could be an answer for you should be taken a little lightly. In saying that, I still think something of my strategy could be a great platform you could try for yourself?</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Here are 4 things I am focused on right now: </b></div><div><br /></div><div><b><span style="font-size: medium;">1. Dump the <u>what's next</u> and focus on <u>right now</u></span></b></div><div><br /></div><div>I have discovered that my internal culture and the world around me is always screaming "what's next?". At our core I think we have an insatiable appetite for new, new, new and next, next, next.</div><div>In context for my burnout recovery I have dumped the "what's next?" question and the potential anxiety it causes me and instead I am focusing on right now. Taking whatever opportunity comes my way today. Doing what I can do and that's all. Letting tomorrow look after itself.</div><div><br /></div><div>When I try and look too far ahead I don't feel very good.</div><div>Partly because my hope in the future has been bruised a little and it makes me feel quite vulnerable.</div><div><br /></div><div>Matthew 6:34 actually states <i>“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself...each day has enough trouble of its own.” </i></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>2. <u>Less</u> Friends - Better <u>Quality</u></b></span></div><div><br /></div><div>I can not say this was my plan, but it worked out for the best I think, as painful as it was to experience.</div><div><br /></div><div>Being a Pastor meant I had a large "friend" group or so I thought. Lots of people in my life who needed me, that I worked with. I had plenty of "people time".</div><div>As our world and role changed we lost so many friends and at a seemingly blinding pace.</div><div>While it was, and still is to some degree difficult to take, it also was setting me up for recovery.</div><div><br /></div><div>I honestly believe now that less is best when it comes to really special friends.</div><div>Burnout recovery requires a special few people you can have relationship with.</div><div>People you can trust with your current state of mind and emotional quality.</div><div>Too many people will drain you. </div><div>Go for quality over quantity.</div><div>Have people around you that you trust to say what you need to hear and in a way you might best receive it.</div><div>The crowd will only bring noise and cause you confusion and eventually retreat.</div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>3. <u>Simplify</u> your Day</b></span></div><div><br /></div><div>When I began a new career in the 90's I was introduced to quality diary use and planning.</div><div>It was based around making lists of what you needed to do each day and also attributing priority values to those lists. It really helped me in my new career.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now leap forward several decades and I have lived my life by lists.</div><div>Lists of tasks. Task lists that were never ending. Lists that never were completed yesterday so spilled into the next day. You probably get the idea...</div><div>This model does not work when you are burned out!</div><div><br /></div><div>Instead of big lists to do maybe have 1-3 acheivable things to do each day.</div><div>Start there and then review later on if you have energy for more.</div><div><br /></div><div>Knowing you have achieved something each day, even if its small, is far more satisfying than knowing you never achieved everything!</div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>4. <u>Heathy</u> in every sphere but not in a <u>hurry</u></b></span></div><div><br /></div><div>When I first considered my health seriously near the end of last year I initially wanted to get healthy like I did when I wasn't burned out. By creating an intense fitness and food plan. To go hard at it like I have in the past.</div><div>But the mere thought of tackling my health like this made me feel even more sick and ultimately not motivated.</div><div><br /></div><div>So this time around I trying to get healthy at a pace I can live with.</div><div>If it takes me 2 years to lose some #lockdownlife flab so be it.</div><div>If it takes longer than that to run 10K reasonably comfortable like I used to do many days a week, well that's all good with me.</div><div><br /></div><div>I reminded myself of this simple truth recently...</div><div>It took me years to get unhealthy. It is ok if it takes me years to get right. Just as long as I am heading in the right direction. </div><div><br /></div><div><b><i>And finally....</i></b></div><div>Go easier on yourself than you think you should at this time.</div><div>I have to keep reminding myself to keep reminding myself...</div><div>In my burnout, berating myself for my failure is easy for me.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you are struggling please stop kicking yourself.</div><div>It might feel like you are doing something but that something is just hurting yourself.</div><div><br /></div><div>I hope something of my journey helps someone out there?</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Something to think about...</i></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - I love coffee!</div><div><h4><div><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div></h4></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-79218239389744025862021-02-05T11:14:00.002+13:002021-02-05T11:14:43.611+13:00You can now support me with "Buy Me A Coffee" <div style="text-align: left;">Hi there everyone!</div><div style="text-align: left;">Hoping you are all doing well right now...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">After much encouragement from some of my other amazing readers I have finally setup a way to support this blog that I feel more comfortable with than other opportunities. </div><div style="text-align: left;">I have never wanted to setup a pay to view system as I just want to freely give whatever I can in the hope it makes your life a little better one simple thought at a time.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">But if you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - I love coffee!</div><div style="text-align: left;">Please know I am super honoured just to you take the time to read my thoughts.</div><div style="text-align: left;">And if you would to support me, then that would be amazing :)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Thanks everyone!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>Locky</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP-ZYLJ5kLhXciAP2KKubvE5ea8p6KygRALmJH9RBshg-HlMUGSD38lg49WljaH9A0N-MwwI1va3Kal_OO0ipR3Fs7x099zj2-iB6QTJqsfWWQKadRMf1fiWjvg5gskPA2t152/s16000/bmc.jpg" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21848962.post-9259817282428949082021-01-13T15:13:00.005+13:002021-04-14T09:20:54.724+12:00Better to burn out than to fade away (my story right now and so far...)<div style="text-align: left;">What I going to share with you today is not news for me today, to share today.</div><div style="text-align: left;">It is not based on a moment of decision or even indecision.</div><div style="text-align: left;">It is predicated on a philosophy I picked up somewhere, maybe from everywhere, that resonated so strongly with something in me, that it became part of me without much filtering or ongoing review.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have held a firm belief for as long as I can remember, that if I worked real real hard at absolutely everything, that the rewards would come. Like some mandated equation of the cosmos where you will "win" based on effort expressed. Rewards of "success", rewards of financial security, Church growth. ministry opportunities and more...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have caught myself saying this phrase many times over the years...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><b>"It is better to burn out than to fade away"</b></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Honestly is was more of who I am than I cared to admit, even if I said on some level that I was joking.</div><div style="text-align: left;">No, the Bible doesn't give this as a life rule to live by.</div><div style="text-align: left;">No, there was not a person who told me to directly to live like this in my formative years.</div><div style="text-align: left;">It was something that my soul liked the sound of when it caught wind of it floating in the breeze and to which my flesh propelled me forward for decades.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So here I am.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Beginning 2021 in some way the same as I finished 2020.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Officially burned out.</div><div style="text-align: left;">That silly little phrase played out just as it said. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe it could be said that it had some prophetic power over me?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I left full-time ministry and official Church life at the beginning of August last year unaware just how burned out I was. Others could see it. I simply couldn't. Still wanted to charge on. Still wanting to live on the vapours left in my tank. To stop meant every conceivable negative for me, failure, defeat, perceived laziness even...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">A couple of days a go as I was riding my bike that phrase entered my mind I thought somewhat randomly. It caused me to do some research into its potential origins and more.</div><div style="text-align: left;">I wouldn't say it was an epiphany moment. Maybe one of much needed clarity.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">A movie I watched as a teenager and really enjoyed was called the Highlander.</div><div style="text-align: left;">A mythical story about an immortal Scottish Warrior (my heritage so intrigued me on some level) who fought evil. In the soundtrack by Queen there it is <i>"better to burn out than fade away"</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">A "cool" band from the 80's that I loved was Def Leppard.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Their song Rock of Ages kicks off lyrically with this...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><i>"Gunter gleiben glauchen globen</i></div><div><i>All right</i></div><div><i>I got somethin' to say</i></div><div><i>Yeah, it's better to burn out</i></div><div><i>Yeah, than fade away"</i></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Influential musician Kurt Corbain sadly gave up on life in 1994 in a tragic and dramatic fashion. </div><div style="text-align: left;">I learnt today while researching this topic, that his suicide note actually included a very similar phrase and sentiment. I also learnt that Neil Young and others have over the years penned lyrics of a similar vain.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Wow, this simple phrase is not just a phrase at all.</div><div style="text-align: left;">It has honestly damaged me. And it has gone as far as to destroy others.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><b>So where to from here?</b></i></div><div style="text-align: left;">Honestly I sort of know and sort of don't.</div><div style="text-align: left;">I am really just taking it slow (the opposite of my personality).</div><div style="text-align: left;">I am trying to rebuild many areas of my life.</div><div style="text-align: left;">I am trying to heal and learn at the same time.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">My hope right now is not for restoration to where I was before. Yuck.</div><div style="text-align: left;">What I really want I guess is be better and be better.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Better on the inside of me and better at living this life God has graciously given me.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Right now I am not sure how to close this off.</div><div style="text-align: left;">My normal would be a scripture or a challenge kind of thing...</div><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe I just want you know a little of story as part of my journey going forward?</div><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe this is for me more than you?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Wherever you are and whoever you are, thanks for reading.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Be yourself, be who God made you to be, listen for His voice.</div><div style="text-align: left;">And know people like think you are awesome!</div><div style="text-align: left;">The story isn't over yet...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Hope to share with you again real soon!</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s3604/bmc-full+logo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="3604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu3sh2ueWgg00zoBN4KINMwR1CcrOC7ZxhGt-ZW91Oqq9L00Lr7wSBieX98ERwlwZZp-8F7F3KCWrCI5Mhkm_Nctg2_489v81c0qob-qTamsifGXXdh5JKNO9xerjmUNwaOoNo/s320/bmc-full+logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with <b><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/locky" target="_blank">Buy Me A Coffee</a></b> - I love coffee!</div></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><div style="font-weight: normal; text-align: center;"><br /></div></h4>Locky McNeillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12033476621557975524noreply@blogger.com4