Why this Song? ...I Won't Let You Go

Over the last few years a few songs have come into my life, flowed into ears and ultimately gotten into my heart, that have made some measurable difference.

While maybe not life changing, yet they have added something to life.

They haven't fixed me, but have measurably helped me.

One of them is I Won't Let You Go by Switchfoot.

Essentially for me it is a reminder that someone (God) is looking out for me, somehow right there with me, while I have navigated some of the more challenging moments of the last decade.

Hearing each maybe every few months has reminded me and helped me to turn my focus onto Him.

Because of its impact I had a thought the other day just to record a little sample.

Again for the same reason. To remind me of the truth it carries. 

And also in the hope it might help someone else...

Maybe even you?

To check it out click here.

You might think you are small...

Maybe you feel like many who see the world as big and that you are small…and wonder what difference you can truly make?

I believe the world is changed by big things and the so called big people, but also by small things and those who feel small in the middle of it.

I have been kindly reminded over the last few weeks of the impact my little life has had on some others. 

It has been truly encouraging.

So if you feel small today.

And that the world is big.

Can I encourage to do small things where you can and for who you can.

You have no idea the impact your actions can have!

Something to think about…

Would you like to watch the #failedpastor series?

Great news if you do!

Click on the link to visit my Youtube Channel and check out the Shorts covering this series of Simple Thoughts.

Thanks.

#failedpastor Part Five - Maybe I was supposed to fail?

Was Thomas Edison a failure?

Did he ever think that he was?

I mean he failed a lot! 

Literally 1000’s of failed attempts before he cracked making a sustainable working lightbulb.

What about Steve Jobs, was he a failure?

Famously fired from Apple, the business he actually started!

But comes back later and we get the iPod, iPhone and so much more…

Here is what I have discovered…

Sometimes you need to fail at something, to get better at something.

And it appears the sometimes the pain of failure actually helps you to build something better.

Am I a really a failure as a pastor?

Yes, I failed, spectacularly, publicly.

Yet thankfully not from moral failure, if you were wondering?

I overworked myself. 

Most of our leaders chose to bail.

And within a few months of our enforced break, the church of over 2 decades closed for good.

My heart has wrestled many times with this, because a public failure, at scale, well it hurts.

There’s shame along with the pain. There is a weight of embarrassment.

So am I, Locky McNeill, really a failure?

The answer is of course is no in the context of my entire life.

But I did fail as a church pastor.

It may surprise you that I am right now, the most ok with that result I have ever been.

Something I have been thinking about lately is that…

Maybe I needed to fail?

Maybe failure is exactly what God needed to happen?

And maybe something is supposed to come from it that is even better than what we consider to have lost?

Job lost his family, his wealth and the respect of his wife.

For all intents and purposes he looked like he had failed in the human quest for success.

It must of hurt so so much.

But something happened that I need to remind myself of.

That if I am still breathing then I am not finished.

The Bible tells us that God restored Job and blessed him.

His sense of failure may have left a scar, but it didn’t define his total identity.

According to Henry Ford: “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”

I believe that I am only truly a failure, if I chose to park in my failure forever.

But I am declaring today as best as I can, with your fine people as my witnesses, that I am not a failure at life, just maybe part of it.

And finally to quote Thomas Edison: “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

I don’t honestly know if the best is yet to come, but I do know that I am not done.

I don’t know exactly what my life, career or ministry will look like going forward, but I do know I still breathing. 

I still have hope. 

And right now, I feel like I am back…

Watch out world!

#failedpastor Part Four - Church Hurt...it affects everyone!

Clergy abuse is bad! No argument from me.

Leaders should be held to a higher standard. 

Without a hint of incongruity or indecency.

But sometimes “the clergy” get hurt too.

I have known of leaders who have struggled under the weight in modern church practice, the pressure to perform, pressure to match unrealistic expectations, and are medicated just to try and survive.

I have known of a leader whose wife refused to attend services and support them anymore, and the very deep and personal effect it had on them.

And I have known of leaders (me) who have experienced damaging slander and life changing betrayal.

Man It hurts!

Maybe it hurts a little more because of the vulnerability, availability, sacrifice to lead a small but thriving church family.

And maybe because of the prices many families pay in the service of a larger faith family.

Contrary to public believe, the majority of Church leaders earn less than minimum wage and don’t own a Harley Davidson…

A famous biblical King experienced something related to this…

12If an enemy were insulting me,

I could endure it;

if a foe were rising against me,

I could hide.

13But it is you, a man like myself,

my companion, my close friend,

14with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship

at the house of God,

as we walked about

among the worshipers.

Psalm 55:12-14 NIV

In a modern relatable context, some of the most painful faith experiences come from those who were the very closest to us.

Look, we need great leaders!

And we need great members.

It’s a both / and equation for me.

My encouragement is the following two simple ideas.

Pray for one another

Prefer one another.

Maybe this a reason why John recorded Jesus prayers for the Church just before He gave his life for us? It would make sense that He knew the challenges we would face.

To be honest, I think most of our perceived persecution in the western church its wrongly labeled. We think forces outside the church are the main ones out to get us. 

The reality I have seen is we have more than enough forces inside attempting to demean and damage.

From the arrogant long term believer cynical and out to disrupt.

To those who feel some crazy god sense to destroy the work before them.

Or other church leaders who are insecure and promote their greener grass in the hope of justifying their call.

We are all called to something so much better.

Every one of us. Pastor and People.

I will finish with a phrase that is furnished in scripture over a dozen seperate times…

Love One Another.

Something to think about…

#failedpastor Part Three - I failed to see what was coming…

We knew something was wrong for a while.

Maybe a few years before we stoped.

But we just couldn’t figure out what it was and why we felt that way.

So we talked about it at a leadership level.

We invited other leaders in to review things.

And we still couldn’t pinpoint the problem….

Essentially the experts told me everything was fine and to keep going because “the best was yet to come”.

Years removed we think have a better idea.

The problem was hidden behind my problem.

Being nice, overworked, exhausted and burned out clouded my vision and ability to see clearly behind the scenes.

Our Church was told the truth that was palatable for us all in that season.

Yes we were done and our tanks empty.

But the other side of the truth coin was we had a major church split.

What is that you might ask?

Where your key leaders and teams decide to leave, many times orchestrating a behind the scenes process that damages you and the faith family you helped build. And many times to launch something else with a different leader.

Sometimes it is framed in flowery religious terms, but division is the outcome and pain the guaranteed result.

We felt betrayed. Cut down. 

And when you add that to burnout, it is near impossible to recover from that position.

So we waved our white flag a withdrew as quietly as we could.

What did I learn from this?

What can you learn from this?

If I had handled my workload, had a better leadership practice, then maybe I could have seen what was coming and made changes.

Because I wasn’t in a good place, I wasn’t good enough in the moment to lead the way that was needed.

As leaders you have a responsibility to the people under you care.

But you also have a responsibility to yourself. To your family. And your relationship to God.

We all acknowledge that the relationship value order is like I have mentioned.

In practice, for many of us, including myself, the opposite becomes our reality over time.

The pressure to succeed that we place on ourselves and the weight of expectation can build.

Can I encourage to be the opposite of me?

- Look after yourself.

- Maybe have a supervisory counsellor you meet with everything single month.

- Plan breaks before busyness.

- Be honest with those you can truly trust.

Leaders we need you to make it. 

To be faithful, fulfilled and still following the call well.

I am praying for you!

Something to think about…

#failedpastor Part Two - I worked too hard!

Hard work is rewarded. I think most of us believe that sentiment.

I think we do because we know deep down and instinctively that the opposite, laziness, doesn’t achieve much.

Maybe you can quote verses about ants and being a sluggard?

But can you work too hard?

How much work is too much?

Part of the challenge is that you don’t have a literal rev gauge or a fuel gauge to see just how hard you are working and how much fuel you have in your tank.

Tied into this was my belief that if I worked really hard, didn’t give up, sacrificed, served with everything I had, then that would equate with success. If not right now, then it must be guaranteed for me one day…

Not long before it all came crashing down there was a particular meeting.

It was in a monthly Elders meeting. 

One of them announced that they had come to believe that the reason why we hadn’t grown as expected in that season was all because “I wasn’t working hard enough”.

I didn’t react calmly to that one…

Some months later, after 11 years in our Church, we had spent it all.

My tank was empty.

I realised too late I had probably been red lining my internal motor for a long long time.

I would like to think it was work ethic, my never give up, never surrender attitude.

But on reflection I was not as wise as I had hoped.

We crashed out. We lost all we felt we had worked for. 

To my shame I had 42 weeks leave I never took over that service period and lost that as well when the Church had to close.

My lesson.

Work hard, just not too hard.

Lift the foot a little off the accelerator because a little slower and surviving is far better than faster and speeding to a crash.

It was suggested to me some time before all this, that you should plan breaks before planning your year and the busyness.

Guess what, I didn’t. 

Why?

I think I was in too deep. 

Like a problem gambler who thinks it will all work out playing a bit longer.

I also felt like I needed to prove my worth.

Because the church me I owed them.

Unfortunately I discovered there is no medal for burning yourself out. It is not better to burn out than to fade away!

There was no ticker tape parade. Just pain and a lot of post event reflection.

How do you figure this out?

Find some people outside your “work” you can get decent analysis from. 

Listen to your family!

Compare your leadership practice a number of others who do similar things to see where you might sit.

Maybe you have some great suggestions for people like me?

I would love hear them!

Something to think about…

#failedpastor Part One - I wanted to be nice

I have learnt that being nice isn’t always the most loving thing to be or do. Because being nice all the time means you avoid some hard things and that is ultimately not “nice” to you and every one you lead.

You see I deep down hoped that being as nice as possible to everyone would mean I would be successful. 

It worked while it worked. 

And then failed me spectacularly.

I just couldn’t keep it up in the end…

My strategy of servant leadership on many levels created a doormat leadership, where others took advantage or boundaries were not kept in regards to my time and resources.

I am not anti servant leadership, but wisdom is super important to carry this model off.

As I reflect on the many meetings, coffees and they like I had with people…

I now think of the many times where I was nice to those who weren’t that nice to me.

Where they had a strange and sometimes wrong agendas that I tried to placate because I feared them, their influence, losing someone from our Church.

Jesus said what many consider a strange phrase, one I struggled to understand for many years to be honest.

“Do not throw your pearls to swine.

If you do, they may trample them under their feet.”

I think too many times I gave my Pearls to Swine.

This means to me giving my best, my most precious gifts, to those who didn’t appreciate them, to those who would be willing to denigrate what I could offer for their own twisted benefit.

People willing to trample me for what their hearts desired.

I not saying to be the opposite of nice and be a jerk.

It is just that being nice can’t be your only tool in your leadership toolkit.

As a leader…

The nicest thing to do is be truthful.

The nicest thing to do is deal with stuff or people or challenges.

Yes be gracious ripping off the bandaid.

Ans never ignore the wound.

I wish I hadn’t been so nice to those who probably needed something better from me in those moments.

I was scared, I recognise that and I own that.

Can I encourage you to still be nice, just be wise how nice and who you are nice too.

It is ok to be a leader and make tough calls.

And sometimes that won’t feel nice, but, it will be right.

Something to think about…

Get Ready for The Charismatic Reformation

The Church has been part of my life for the majority of my life.

As far back as I can remember, it began with going to a little country Presbyterian Church with my Mum or Gran until I went to High School.

My teenage rebel and wannabe rockstar years took me away, but only for a 6-7 year window.

Since 1991 I have been, attending, serving in and even for a long time, pastoring local Churches.

I guess that gives me some experience?

One of my most popular blogs I have ever written is an analogy about attending a wedding and comparing that with our attitudes towards the Church.

I still believe in it, warts and all.

And I am honestly a little nervous making comment about something Christ died for and that He appears to use to bring his individual people together, that He says He is coming back for.

And yet something else is also undeniable for me…

That sometimes as humans leading and being part of something divine/eternal, that mistakes can be made. To refuse to notice is naivety at best. Ignorance is not reality. That’s my opinion.

That next level to this to share is that most of my Church experience related to what people label the Pentecostal Church. When I was a kid they were referred to as “happy hand clappers”, to reference their worship expression being different from my more conservative and restrained expression growing up.

After giving my life to Christ in August 1991, the first Church I attended was this flavour.

While I wanted to be there, it was an initial shock and I wondered even if I had walked into a cult?

I changed my mind on that and got progressively more connected to the point I was serving as best I could in that faith family.

As of today I am nearly 6 years removed from leading a Pentecostal Church.

That has been a painful season and also cathartic.

It has given me time to have another perspective. 

To reflect on what it was like.

On what I think was good practice.

What I consider maybe not so good.

In all that I have never stopped seeking God, studying His Word, looking at the state of the world and how the Church operates within.

Which leads us to today…

And when I say today, I am talking about this time in history.

My current conviction is that we should be getting ready for The Charismatic Reformation.

Not because charismatic or pentecostal Church is evil, but because as humans we have made mistakes.

My belief is the Bride, the Church is always important to God!

It appears He gives us some wiggle room to make mistakes, but as we can see studying history, He never leaves it that way. When The Church is getting things wrong, a time appears on His calendar when God flicks the switch and change occurs. 

Think about what we regularly refer to as The Reformation.

Reflect on that moment when a famous Thesis was nailed to a Church Door.

Even reflect on the day of Pentecost.

God does something dramatic to arrest a trajectory, because you and His Church are important.

Don’t be shocked at what you may have noticed occurring around the western charismatic Church.

Honestly this has been brewing for years and I for one, while not liking the pain it has brought, am super grateful that the error is being exposed.

Some ministries that are being exposed have had questions around them, sometimes for decades.

Others I had contact with as a young leader and knew something wasn’t right, but had no avenue or authority to address it, are also having light shone on them.

That is why I believe we are entering The Charismatic Reformation.

I still believe in the full counsel of the Scripture.

I still believe in the gift of the Holy Spirit and “gifts” that come as part of that promise being fulfilled.

And I believe accountability and correction for where the humanness has encroached too far is being divinely addressed.

I believe we ultimately follow Christ, not man.

The tension is that Godly leaders as supposed to be in front of us, pointing us that way.

“I follow Paul and I follow Apollos” sentiment (1 Corinthians 3:4) has always arisen in the Church and it takes intention to weed that wrong thinking out.

I believe the Charismatic Industrial Complex is about to fall or at least shift.

Where fakery is exposed and true Holy Spirit ministry is promoted.

Where Kingdom Culture is not a means to financial gain for some, but blessing for all.

Where narcissistic weirdos are exposed for who they are and God’s people can experience freedom in Christ again.

Where the integrity of The Church is brought further back to where it should be.

Where the Church and not a brand or a “movement” takes precedence.

Where “Grass is Greener” promotion to draw a crowd from one Church to another is finally exposed and please excuse my crude analogy, has the green grass mowed.

Where kingdom building (man made ego projects) is replaced by the Kingdom advancing.

Can I encourage you not to be despondent?

God is still in control and He disciplines those He loves, that is you and His Church.

Pray. Watch. Don ’t over react to the news around you.

If you are being defensive, ask Him why?

Seek Him. 

Keep your heart open and soft along with a steadfast foundation in His Word.

It is still His Church, His Bride…

And He wants it back.

Something to think about…

5 Letter Greeks Words...That Could Change Your Life

I remember sitting in a lounge on a Sunday afternoon waiting on a special friend to get ready to go out. 

As strange as it might seem to some, I used to carry around a mini translation of the New Testament (back in the days before your phone could carry every Bible translation available).

As I occupied myself with a quick look through some passages, I came across something I can only describe as leaping out at me. Flying into my face and causing me to stop and think deeply.

It sounds dramatic doesn’t its it?

Like the words literally flying up in the air from the text in front of me.

It is quite common as I have seen, to refer to passages of scripture that garner your attention more than others and seem to generate a special connection in that moment.

These words in that moment felt somehow different, more impactful to me in that to the others before them or after them.

I didn’t at the time have an explanation for why this mattered or how it works beyond the strange idea that some words have wings. Words that can fly up from a page.

Later I came to learn that two different greek words are used in the New Testament when talking about the Bible.

Rhema & Logos.

The Bible says that all scripture is God breathed and useful for teaching, correcting.

The Logos Word of God, the whole counsel of scripture, is there for that express purpose.

Rhema is where the Logos becomes even more personal in a moment of reading it. It is where God speaks directly from the passage to your very soul. 

Sometimes it is like my experience that day, to encourage me in the way I needed in the moment.

Sometimes it is to correct.

This concept of Rhema seems to particularly freak out those who believe context only is king. Where they think that unless you read all of scripture in context alone, that you will get it wrong.

I believe context can be key, but it is not king.

The context as king philosophy robs you of something truly special, the ability for God to speak encouragement and even direction from his Divine Word.

Where God can give you personal encouragement, correction or direction.

It has been said that if you can study the Bible as the Logos, then God can then use that too speak the Rhema to you. And with a Logos foundation you can navigate the Rhema with a higher level of safety and security.

Can I encourage you have a healthy regular habit of reading the Bible (Logos) along with an equally healthy expectation that God might speak directly to you (Rhema)?

Those two little five letter greek words could indeed change your life.

Something to think about…

Behind the Curtain

In theory, what you would see behind a ministry curtain, should not be dramatically different from the platform. But is that the reality?

I have met and worked with probably hundreds of different ministries from New Zealand and around the world. And I can honestly say to the best of my knowledge, that the majority are who you would hope they would be. Similar on stage to behind the curtain.

But, and a big BUT, some are not who you think they are and who I hoped they were.

These comments are not to just expose for clicks and likes.

My agenda here is super simple. I want the Church to grow up.

And sometimes the growing process requires honest review and reflection.

In one of Church roles I had  I was asked to rescue a long planned conference. The leader who was supposed to be managing it became too ill to continue.

Within only a matter of a few months I somehow managed to arrange everything.

Still not sure how. 

Maybe my naivety helped me not realise the scope and complexity.

The conference happened. 

Hundreds attended and went away happy as far as I know.

The upshot was in every conceivable way, what the speakers showed from the platform, didn’t remotely match the behind the curtain experience.

We discovered after the conference when the hotel bill arrived, that it appeared that they hosted parties in their accommodation and spent thousands and thousands on every item available from room-service including bottles of wines and cocktails.

These same people refused to talk to attendee’s after their presentations and went off back to party. 

In fact each speaker didn’t want to engage with us at all.

It was a cold function only filled experience that I have never forgotten or spoken about in a public forum.

These people and ministries are considered to be well respected (well at least used to be) around the world and my statements would shock their supporters.

As a little guy in the Christian world, I have never felt comfortable talking about it. I didn’t want to talk about what I wrestled with knowing it could be seen as slanderous by them and those who blindly support their ministry.

Trust me, this is the short version of the story.

I am not perfect at all!

But what I strive to do is be me and person God has designed me to be. My hope is the person I am in front and behind the scenes matches.

We throw around the word transparency a lot these days.

Hypocrisy is always seen as a negative trait, no matter the circumstance.

Let's be people who behind the curtain match our presentation persona.

I think that should be every Christians personal goal.

Something to think about…

Otto - who is he and why does it matter?

Otto is the main character of another movie that I find I have a visceral reaction to. 

And it is tricky explaining fully why without ruining the movie for those who have yet to experience it, the weight of the story, background and what it reveals.

It does deal with matters of self harm so I would caution you from watching if this is something you should avoid in this season.

What it does reminds me of again in the world we live is the following:

1. So many have a back story with an equal dose of deep abiding pain that many don't know.

Otto comes across as angry, cold and as someone who doesn't need anyone or anything.

The reality was who he became through what life threw at him was not how he began.

The movie/story reminds me that those who show similar traits to Otto may have good reason for being who they currently are. 

There may have been things happen to them that has damaged their soul. The weight of which they feel powerless to overcome and eventually give into their damaging narrative.

2. We are not our best on our own reconciling lifes pain and disappointments, and yet that is the default direction of many of us.

Withdrawal seems to be the natural mode when the pain of life just pushes us too far.

I have felt its pull to be honest and sometimes it is hard not to succumb.

And when it is "others" who have contributed to your hurt, the natural thing our heart does is seek to avoid "others" going forward. The logic being you can't take anymore so protect yourself from the possibility of more pain.

Which leads to my last quick point...

3. Something beautiful and unexpected can come where we least expect it.

Otto has people around him just like many of us do.

Circumstances he didn't want created a watershed moment in the sad trajectory of his life through the "unwanted" relationships that came his way.

The impact of those "others" that appeared in his mind from nowhere, changed everything for him. 

Maybe the "others" around you right now are strategically there for right now?

A Man Called Otto.

Great movie.

Certainly impacted my heart.

Something to think about...

Hamburger Helper Prophetic

Honestly I was shocked by what someone said about the prophetic!

They used the phrase "Hamburger Helper" to explain their ideas around this ministry to other believers.

In New Zealand we don't have this but mu understanding it is a flavoured powder to help your dinner taste better. The irony for me is that it shown with macaroni so not sure where burger comes into it?

Essentially they were saying that it is ok to have lots of rubbish prophecy as long as some good stuff is in there are as well.

Their rationale seemed to use the distinction Jesus made about Wheat and Weeds as some sort of biblical justification. That they don't want to correct what was wrong so that the good ones remains. This is a bit out of context and naive at best.

Here is why I think it is problematic:

1. Either the prophetic is God speaking or it is not.

2. If the person receiving the prophetic word is not able to discern validity, all sort of catastrophic decisions can eventuate. I have so many stories!

3. The person ignorantly firing off incorrect prophetic messages gets confident in something that is wrong and this makes them more ignorant and potentially arrogant.

4. This leader has been found out to be a fake prophet and groomer of young women so their teaching should be ignored or taken with extreme caution.

It is past time for the prophetic ministry to mature in the Church.

We can do so much better.

Something to think about...

Prophetic Pendulum Swing

I am honestly a little torn right now.

On one hand I am happy there appears to be a reckoning in the Church around prophecy. But also concerned the pendulum might swing too far back to another time, a time where religious ritual practice alone becomes the dominant expression of faith filled believers.

My personal opinion is that we need health.

We need honesty and integrity.

And we need genuine prophetic activity in the Church.

The prophetic has been crying out for these attributes for far too long.

I have read statements celebrating the initial stages of dealing with problematic so called prophetic ministries. Some of these ministries have recently announced a period of removing themselves from public for whatever reason.

I am thrilled to finally see some accountability!

There have been many manipulators and apparent liars rampant for far too long!

A large problem for me with any extreme position in Christianity, its expression through practice, whether it be pro or anti Holy Spirit gifts etc, is that extremes look concerning to me.. 

Many appear to ignore the parts of scripture that don’t support their position while exaggerating the importance of others.

I don’t like the pendulum swing that comes with these moments sometimes.

Again I am for the prophetic. It is reflected in New Testament teachings.

I just want the accountability and honestly that is expected from other giftings and their use, to be applied here as well.

I have been a follower of Jesus since 1991. Have seen and experienced a little since then.

During that time I have “received” plenty of prophetic words from people who I have always hoped were just trying to do their best.

And we need to be honest here. 

Some of it was apparently spot on while others were ridiculously off the mark.

One one music tour I did traveling around at least half a dozen Churches, at every single one, someone approached me afterwards telling me that God had told them I would be back to be their youth pastor.

Did it confuse me or cause me to have a crisis of faith? No.

What it did do was cause me to pray and reflect on what was said, why they said it, and what was really potentially going on.

The Apostle Paul encouraged prophecy but also sober reflection and testing of what said.

I tried to apply that to this strange series of moments.

I think in part they recognised that I had giftings that could have benefit to their Church.

They prophesied based on what they saw and what they hoped they saw.

Their “humaness” got mixed with their revelation.

And I needed to take stock according.

I have experienced amazing prophetic words and prayers that have staggered me as to their accuracy, which came true not by my doing anything to make them a reality.

There are stories I could tell!

What am I trying to say?

I guess in the end we need to be passionate both ways to protect the pendulum swing in this moment being too strong.

We need sober judgement of the prophetic. And we need the prophetic.

The prophet needs accountability.

The receiver needs better understanding on how to process prophecy.

This is our moment to grow up.

I really hope we can.

Something to think about…

Change your pot?

I absolutely love Rhubarb.

I just adore stewed Rhubarb on desserts or on my cereal.

Suze thinks it tastes like dirt. He taste buds are less developed than mine it seems…

When we moved down south in late 2024 my fantastic mother gave me a rhubarb plant to put in our little garden space. From my little understanding of growing this in a healthy way that you can harvest from, it is best to leave it a year. So that is what I did. Waited a whole year!

Unfortunately the anniversary came around and I was left disappointed.

The plant really hadn’t thrived and the stalks just too limp to do anything with.

My passionate (maybe too hot blooded) side of myself wanted to dig the dumb thing up and throw it away. Super annoyed that my effort and patience had not been rewarded.

I decided instead to research my options.

The research turned into a plan.

I dug up my plant carefully and placed it in a pot with fresh and rich in nutrients soil.

That was about a month ago now.

When we look out our lounge window we see something different. It is totally changed. 

The 6 or 7 at best limp stalks have morphed into a thriving living bush of this amazing rhubarby goodness!

And that got me thinking…

There are times, after a season of hardwork, endurance and patience, where you can feel a little limp. 

Like things didn’t work.

Expectations were sadly not met.

And you may want to respond in a passionate and potentially hot headed way?

Maybe what you need is a new pot?

Maybe what you need is some fertiliser?

Maybe what you need is to not panic but changed what you are sitting in?

Jesus talked about a man going to visit his fig tree in his vineyard. 

For 3 years he was waiting patiently for it to fruit (typically fig trees produce by then). 

Because it wasn't fruiting yet, a decision was made. 

Dig it or dung it. 

Give it some attention and see if it will produce something good. 

(Luke 13:6-9)

I don’t want to encourage you do something dramatic out of frustration, just maybe be motivated to think and pray before making am important decision. 

Don’t just dump a job or a friend group or relationship because it is now “limp”.

Can I encourage you to take a step back and look at the option of changing your pot?

You are designed to grow.

And maybe you need a fresh soil to thrive in?

Something to think about…

I miss how it made me feel

For most of my life and my many career paths, I always had a deep and undeniable sense of purpose.

That inner knowing that what I was doing matched some divine purpose for my life.

I found having it super helpful, especially in challenging moments.

And as I look on that time from what you may guess is the flip side of this posture, I have come to realise just how anchoring that knowledge is. 

How it gives you peace, along with the purpose.

I miss it. And I would like it back!

When I worked a warehouse job when I was a lot younger I knew it was a means to an end, to help me through Bible College.

When I worked in a challenging sales environment I had a deep conviction that it was going to develop me in many ways that would aid me in the future. And it certainly did.

And then when I served as a local church Pastor, even with the never ending people challenges, I loved pretty much every moment of it, because again I knew deep down I was in the middle of the purpose for my existence at that time.

So here is the brutal (not sure if that is the perfect noun for this) truth.

For the first time in all my adult life I am honestly wrestling with what my purpose is.

Desperate to discover the why for the season I am living through.

I recognise that not having a clear and defined purpose reinforces and exaggerates the desire for it again.

Something inside of me right now is determined for find my purpose. 

I refuse to live just to live.

That is not enough for me at all.

Maybe you resonate with this idea?

My hope and prayer for us both is that we both find it and then we live it.

Something to think about...

I will be ready!

Maybe this season is one of getting ready for the next one?

So I am being intentional with what I have ability to control.

Choosing to focus on the “…ally” words that I think are super important to make my life work.

It looks like this season is one where I prepare myself:

EmotionALLY

PhysicALLY

SpirituALLY

EcononicALLY

Being intentional.

Taking bite size chunks out of each area...

So I ready for the next big thing to come our way.

Maybe you have a similar feeling or expectation about the season you are in?

If you are, I would love to recommend you be intentional yes about your internal prep work, but also as gracious as you can towards yourself.

My firm belief is that life does include distinct seasons.

Some are uncomfortable, but are also eternally designed with a bigger purpose in mind.

Let's get ready!

Something to think about…