I Hate Waiting

I really dislike waiting.
In fact I can honestly say I hate it...

I have such vivid memories from my childhood of waiting for what seemed like an eternity for my Dad.

At the bank. Outside his club.

It is kind of sad that waiting on him seems to be a more pronounced memory than maybe what it should be?

I not trying to blame my parent as though he created this neurosis.

But it has apparently left an indelible mark on me.

We all face periods in life where waiting seems to dominate.

In fact history is riddled with sometimes amazing stories of those who have wrestled through waiting periods, before an opportunity, or a vindication, or an answer broke the waiting game.

From the sailors many years ago who waited stranded and essentially dying near Antartica for rescue. 

What about the twelve young boys and their coach, trapped in a Thailand caving system?

Their waiting must have seemed unbearable and unending!

From Joseph waiting 13 years for the his dreams to come true even in the midst of setbacks and unfair persecution. Genesis 37-50

What about the lady who waited for years in a jewish temple after the early death of her husband, hoping, praying for the coming promised saviour to her nation. Luke 2:36-38.

Even in pop culture we can relate to these stories...

I think of "Wilson" and his human benefactor in the Movie Castaway. Stuck on a pacific island without much hope of rescue.

And speaking of Tom Hanks, his character in The Terminal was stuck waiting a long time to go home to beloved his "Motherland".

It is unwise to say you can relate totally to the real world examples mentioned already, but it is also honest to say that you can relate to the uncomfortable nature of waiting in general.

The level of discomfort raising with the level of the stakes involved.

The tension of hoping it will all work out, as you try and disarm the concern and the longevity.

Maybe you are feeling a little like me today?

That you are waiting for an answer or relief or supply or something better?

Waiting for the next step or next role?

Remind yourself to hang onto hope.

Remind yourself that God has got this.

I am waiting with you!

Something to think about...

What have I learned - TODAY?

The question I have pondered this morning is one many have asked me in variety of forms and contexts over the years, and seemed like a good place to start...

What have I learned?

As of Today. Right now in this moment!

Like what is it that I have recently discovered about myself, life, and my place in the world?

If you asked me this same question, maybe sitting together in a cafe enjoying a fresh brew, there would probably be 2 distinct answers that I would give you right now.

ONE "I have learned whether I truly trust God."

I have come to realise over the last few years and especially now, that you only know whether you trust God when you actually have to trust God.

What does that mean?

It super easy to say you do, when you don't have to in reality. 

When life is going well. 

When you have some money and roof over your head and no drama.

When your relationships are ok.

And when you have nothing of substance to complain about.

It is easy to say the words that you trust God, but let's continue being honest, they are probably just words.

My world isn't terrible, but it has not been that easy for a while now.

It has created a godly tension I believe that has forced me to be more honest about trust.

Do I really, truly, honestly trust God with my life?

My honest answer to that life has revealed that maybe that I do and I don't.

That I oscillate sometimes. 

One minute having faith and others wondering what is going on.

Just being honest...

I think I desire to trust God sometimes more than the reality.

And that is something I am working on.

TWO "What I truly believe."

Following on from my "trust issues", the stage of life and the circumstances I am navigating, have revealed even more what I believe.

It is funny how trials and struggles reveal what we really think, feel and believe.

My outlook on the world is clear in my mind.

My beliefs.

My approaches.

And even my political proclivities are more real to me in this moment.

Because they are laid bare in my heart, it has given me pause to reflect on them, to analysis them and see if they match God's perspective.

Maybe it has been like a belief audit?

What you truly belief is very important and not something to shy away from and avoid.

Now it is your turn...

If you and I were sitting in a maybe the same imaginary cafe and I asked you "what have you learned", like recently in life, what would you answer be?

My hint would be not overthink but share what your first gut level answers would be.

I ultimately think it is both a healthy/good question along with being confronting.

Scripture tells to consider our life, our doctrine (1 Timothy 4:6). 

To not just trudge on hoping we are ok and what we believe is ok.

Naivity is not a great strategy.

Honesty about yourself. What is happening and where are tracking is better.

Courage to then deal with it what is you discover about your heart right now is better.

Something to think about...

You have probably heard this before

In the last few weeks I have purposefully changed some patterns in my life.

Not really because I had to, but because I wanted some change.
I wanted things to be a bit different. 
To actually feel different. 
To be better.

What I have continued to need to learn it seems, is sometimes the pattern of life that we fall into for seasons ,doesn't always work well forever. 

The hint is that the pattern was only meant to last potentially for a season.

I forget that.

My pattern of Bible Reading and Prayer hasn't changed much over the last few years until now.

Recently I decided I needed change because upon some honest reflection, I was concerned it wasn't working as well as it could be. 

Yes that is a broad phrase. But it covers that sense I had that it was not working, maybe stale, and continuing seemed silly when I had the power to change things up.

It for me has become a going back to go forward on many levels.

My new pattern is a regular set routine straight after getting up of first reading from a Bible Reading Plan then going through a Guided Prayer Time which of course includes my most important Prayer Requests.

I add a little music bed under it all.

I really do feel different. 

And it not because I have some self importance from being disciplined. 

It is does seem to set me up different the day.

It is also better than turning to news sources to see what I should be concerned about...

Why am I sharing all this?

Maybe if you are honest you feel a bit like me?

That the pattern of your current season isn't producing in and through you all that you hoped?

That maybe you aren't doing "what you did at first"?

Change it.

Plan to change things and just start.

As they say "you have nothing to lose and everything to gain".

Something to think about and actually do...

NB - if you would like more detail on what I am doing or have questions feel free to reach out. I would love to help. Comment below or email lockymcneill@icloud.com

Reb Zusha of Hanipol

Before I share this hopefully profound and inspiring thought, I have to say, that I am always fascinated by how people of history were named! 

Locky McNeill of Invercargill sounds a little more interesting and exotic maybe than just Locky don't you think? 

But back to what I wanted to share today...

As part of another study I have been participating in recently, we heard a quote purportedly from a one Reb Zusha of Hanipol and it honestly struck a nerve in me.

It seems recorded that while on his dying bed, crying, and in some obvious distress, that he was asked why he seemed to be that way. Those around at the time considered him highly esteemed and were honestly perplexed as to why this man would be concerned it appeared, to be upset before passing away and ultimately meeting God.

"I'm afraid! Because when I get to heaven, I know God's not going to ask me, 'Why weren't you more like King Moses?' or 'Why weren't you more like King David?' "

"But I'm afraid that God will ask, 'Zusha, why weren't you more like Zusha?' and then what will I say?"

The question he was wrestling with I believe was 'was I who I was used to be in this life and did I do what I was called, designed, gifting and mandated to do?'

I don't know about you, but I definitely find this challenging!

Maybe that is why I have been frustrated lately as I try to discover who I am supposed to be and do in this current season of life? This deep sense that life and the responsibility it implies is indeed important.

Scripture tells us that we are all designed by God.

That we were all intentionally made for just the right time in history.

That we all have specific talents that God has invested in each of us.

And that we will be accountable for that investment and trust.

My prayer lately has been focused on this a lot.

I do not want to be on my death bed with regret.

Please know that I do not want to come across too heavy in this but simply encourage you to seek to be all that God has called you be. 

Don't settle for this.

Don't let others rob of this opportunity.

I pray that you and I will discover this again today...

Something to think about...

Have you heard of Gell Mann Amnesia?

I hadn't heard of this until yesterday.

But I think it helps illustrate an issue we face as we navigate the world today.

In 2002, Michael Crichton describes it as a phenomenon where a person reads a news article on a subject they know well, identifies significant errors or misunderstandings, yet continues to trust the same media outlet for information on other topics.

This the idea that we can read something we just know is wrong and then move onto something else from the same source potentially believing other things they report to be true, sometimes because they match our expectations.

I heard it described as something similar to "wet streets cause rain"*.

Why am I mentioning this?

The presenter in the video says "the deeper problem is that we are remarkably good at noticing the lies in the narrow corner of the world where we have direct knowledge. And we're remarkably bad at remembering when we turn the page what we just noticed."

If you want to navigate life well in this period of history I think it unfortunately right to be a little skeptical of the traditional sources of truth, news and information.

In the democratised media space we now live in, where media has thrown off all best practice, balance and process, you simply can't always trust what you read, what you see and what you hear.

I would encourage healthy skepticism.

I would encourage self ownership of study and the ensuing understanding it can bring.

As it has been said, the truth can set you free. The kicker is you need the truth!

Digging out truth for yourself today takes intentionality.

It takes considered analysis, sometimes creating deep anguish if the truth is not the truth you hoped to discover. But it is worth it, to discover truth and engage in freedom.

Can I encourage you today to think about your approach to discovering truth?

Yes it might make you uncomfortable for a time, but better some discomfort than potential deception.

Something to think about...

*Jeremy Boreing YouTube May 2026