I miss how it made me feel

For most of my life and my many career paths, I always had a deep and undeniable sense of purpose.

That inner knowing that what I was doing matched some divine purpose for my life.

I found having it super helpful, especially in challenging moments.

And as I look on that time from what you may guess is the flip side of this posture, I have come to realise just how anchoring that knowledge is. 

How it gives you peace, along with the purpose.

I miss it. And I would like it back!

When I worked a warehouse job when I was a lot younger I knew it was a means to an end, to help me through Bible College.

When I worked in a challenging sales environment I had a deep conviction that it was going to develop me in many ways that would aid me in the future. And it certainly did.

And then when I served as a local church Pastor, even with the never ending people challenges, I loved pretty much every moment of it, because again I knew deep down I was in the middle of the purpose for my existence at that time.

So here is the brutal (not sure if that is the perfect noun for this) truth.

For the first time in all my adult life I am honestly wrestling with what my purpose is.

Desperate to discover the why for the season I am living through.

I recognise that not having a clear and defined purpose reinforces and exaggerates the desire for it again.

Something inside of me right now is determined for find my purpose. 

I refuse to live just to live.

That is not enough for me at all.

Maybe you resonate with this idea?

My hope and prayer for us both is that we both find it and then we live it.

Something to think about...