You can now support me with "Buy Me A Coffee"

Hi there everyone!

Hoping you are all doing well right now...

After much encouragement from some of my other amazing readers I have finally setup a way to support this blog that I feel more comfortable with than other opportunities. 

I have never wanted to setup a pay to view system as I just want to freely give whatever I can in the hope it makes your life a little better one simple thought at a time.

But if you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with Buy Me A Coffee - I love coffee!

Please know I am super honoured just to you take the time to read my thoughts.

And if you would to support me, then that would be amazing :)

Thanks everyone!

Locky

Better to burn out than to fade away (my story right now and so far...)

What I going to share with you today is not news for me today, to share today.

It is not based on a moment of decision or even indecision.

It is predicated on a philosophy I picked up somewhere, maybe from everywhere, that resonated so strongly with something in me, that it became part of me without much filtering or ongoing review.

I have held a firm belief for as long as I can remember, that if I worked real real hard at absolutely everything, that the rewards would come. Like some mandated equation of the cosmos where you will "win" based on effort expressed. Rewards of "success", rewards of financial security, Church growth. ministry opportunities and more...

I have caught myself saying this phrase many times over the years...

"It is better to burn out than to fade away"

Honestly is was more of who I am than I cared to admit, even if I said on some level that I was joking.

No, the Bible doesn't give this as a life rule to live by.

No, there was not a person who told me to directly to live like this in my formative years.

It was something that my soul liked the sound of when it caught wind of it floating in the breeze and to which my flesh propelled me forward for decades.

So here I am.

Beginning 2021 in some way the same as I finished 2020.

Officially burned out.

That silly little phrase played out just as it said. 

Maybe it could be said that it had some prophetic power over me?

I left full-time ministry and official Church life at the beginning of August last year unaware just how burned out I was. Others could see it. I simply couldn't. Still wanted to charge on. Still wanting to live on the vapours left in my tank. To stop meant every conceivable negative for me, failure, defeat, perceived laziness even...

A couple of days a go as I was riding my bike that phrase entered my mind I thought somewhat randomly. It caused me to do some research into its potential origins and more.

I wouldn't say it was an epiphany moment. Maybe one of much needed clarity.

A movie I watched as a teenager and really enjoyed was called the Highlander.

A mythical story about an immortal Scottish Warrior (my heritage so intrigued me on some level) who fought evil. In the soundtrack by Queen there it is "better to burn out than fade away"

A "cool" band from the 80's that I loved was Def Leppard.

Their song Rock of Ages kicks off lyrically with this...

"Gunter gleiben glauchen globen

All right

I got somethin' to say

Yeah, it's better to burn out

Yeah, than fade away"

Influential musician Kurt Corbain sadly gave up on life in 1994 in a tragic and dramatic fashion. 

I learnt today while researching this topic, that his suicide note actually included a very similar phrase and sentiment. I also learnt that Neil Young and others have over the years penned lyrics of a similar vain.

Wow, this simple phrase is not just a phrase at all.

It has honestly damaged me. And it has gone as far as to destroy others.

So where to from here?

Honestly I sort of know and sort of don't.

I am really just taking it slow (the opposite of my personality).

I am trying to rebuild many areas of my life.

I am trying to heal and learn at the same time.

My hope right now is not for restoration to where I was before. Yuck.

What I really want I guess is be better and be better.

Better on the inside of me and better at living this life God has graciously given me.

Right now I am not sure how to close this off.

My normal would be a scripture or a challenge kind of thing...

Maybe I just want you know a little of story as part of my journey going forward?

Maybe this is for me more than you?

Wherever you are and whoever you are, thanks for reading.

Be yourself, be who God made you to be, listen for His voice.

And know people like think you are awesome!

The story isn't over yet...

Hope to share with you again real soon!

If you want to support what I have done and will do in the future, you can now do that with Buy Me A Coffee - I love coffee!

Rise of the Karen

If you are taking note of different cultural phenoms right now you have probably heard the phrase attributed to certain behaviour, these people, generally ladies called "Karens". 

I have to admit I feel a bit sad for the Karens out there who are genuinely nice people. Their name is being used in such a derogatory manner.

A few definitions might help if you haven't come across this term?

Wikipedia defines a "Karen" as ... someone as entitled or demanding beyond the scope of what is appropriate or necessary. This seems to be the nice version in my humble opinion.

My definition is as follows ... someone who may or may not have been wronged and yet over reacts verbally, physically or both to a situation that triggers them.

Even last night I was suggested a new YouTube channel to watch in my suggestions section entitled "Karens in the Wild". It is not for the faint hearted of those offended by verbal tirades using "colourful" language choices. In fact it is kind of an embarrassment...

It highlights that level many seems to think is ok to stoop to, when life is difficult, or there is a sense of being wronged in some way.

It certainly has made me think...

As someone doing what I can to live my life to glorify God, is being a Karen justified on any level?

Should we be different from the culture - well the answer is yes.

If our "saltiness" as scripture tells us has become the worst form of saltiness (bitterness, anger, rage) then how will any one believe our message. Our lives are saying the opposite of who we want to be.

So here I am today reminded of two things:

One, to make sure as much as I can, to handle myself well, to seek to help where I may be struggling.

Two, to show grace to those who have let the "Karen" of their flesh bubble up and then define them. That maybe I shouldn't be entertained by their struggles, but instead desire to offer them something better.

It seems ultimately to me that being a "Karen" is a cry for help. Not a label for us to further push them away from the love they so desperately need.

Something to think about...

Accepting the process

The very nature of life itself follows process...

I am wondering if accepting it is half the battle?

You are not born an adult and well adjusted.

You don't even wake up to be a totally different person to who you were the previous days.

Even before that you had 9 months of what we called gestation. A hidden away process to develop you from conception to your first first birthday.

Butterflies have a change process in a cocoon as they metamorphosis from a caterpillar with insane amounts of little legs.

Frustration is magnified I think for us when forgot that there is a process that even God is working to in our lives. I have been fully and sorely reminded of this during the change process 2020 has brought pretty unexpectantly to our lives and ministry.

In the corner of our garden is a plant, a bush, some might say it has been an eyesore.

We have left it alone for 3 years and talked more about dealing with it than actually dealing with it.

I began to wonder a few months back if I was not playing my part, not following the process for its life and development. And besides it looked like it was dead and worthless.

So armed with a quick gardening tutorial via our friends on YouTube I pretended to have a green thumb and pruned it to within an inch of life itself. That pruning confirmed our very unqualified gardening fear, it was a dead stump now with dead brown stalks presenting itself sadly to the world.

Had I made things worse?

Was the video a have and a shame?

I actually decided to walk away and forget this shameful experiment had even happened. Resigning myself to digging out the carcass in some sort of pre holiday season ritual.

So here we are right now and honestly stunned by what is now proudly displaying itself.

This stump of doom is now a thriving bush of glory.

It is beginning to live up to its name and identity as a Hydrangea.

(Some of you reading this will even be shocked I even know its name LOL)

What changed in this plants life is something we can learn form...

We need to accept that life is a process that God is orchestrating on our behalf.

We might think we look dead, but God knows with His care, there will be new life.

We might think we are fully grown, as messy as we might feel, and yet God prunes away what is holding us back.

Don't fight the process my friend!

Your life is about to change.

There may very well be a brand new season about to open for you if you just accept the process?

Something to think about...

Goodbye ... (for a while)

Hi there everyone of you amazing, outstanding people!

I am so very honoured that you read my 'simple thoughts' and I truly hope they have helped you in some way either big or small.

For a huge number of reasons (to many to mention here right now) our world is changing dramatically and somewhat unexpectedly.
Because of what has happened to us as a family in recent times I have decided to take a break from writing and ministry to spend time with them, focusing on getting healthy and whole again personally.

To allay any fears you might have, we have not done anything "wrong". It has just become time to step away from full-time ministry for a season.

Please know I appreciate every single reader.

You have inspired me to keep writing in this format most weeks for nearly 15 years now.

I hope to be back with you sometime in the not too distant future.

Until then, God bless you my friend!

Locky