Stump

Outside my previously office was a stump.

Not of my making. And I guess the tree didn’t have much say in it either…
But a stump none the less.

It looks pretty typical for a tree stump.
Horizontal cut pretty close to the ground.
You can only guess what that tree was like…

A stump is kind of sad really.
A memorial to a life that was there and is now gone.

Here’s the thing. It appears that after all that it is not as dead as I first thought.
Its exisitence while looking bleak, has a glimmer of hope it appears.
For out of this stump are some shoots.

Here’s what I think. 

And here is what I try and remind myself.
No matter how impossible it seems, life can return?

Do you feel like a stump.
Maybe life and what happened to you feels like it cut you off, maybe even in your prime.
Maybe someone or a group of someones cut you down, mulched you up and you have felt finished. Gone. Hopeless.
And yet deep down even among all the pain you have a slither of hope, a morsel of life, just looking for another shot.

If you feel like a stump first I want you to know that you are not alone.
And I want you to know that life can come again the worst of experiences.

Hang on to hope, even it if feels like a stump.

Something to think about…

The unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry

I am a sucker for people’s stories told well.

And when I saw the short for the movie with the above name I was intrigued enough.
Not enough to see it when it was released in theatre, but enough for when it came recently to a streaming service.

For me it fitted in to the same story telling as other favourites of mine, like Mr Holland Opus and Forrest Gump. Because stories about other peoples lives can so powerful, they can inspire, they can trigger emotions. They seem to just draw me in, in ways others movies can’t.

The theme all the way through was pain.
Pain many carried and seemed to be unable to shake. 
They all struggled and seemed powerless to over some that pain.
Pain that reminded me of my own and the pain I have struggled to shake.

So through my leaking eyes I wanted to reflect when it finished because the story, the metaphor is so powerful. Every person portrayed had pain.
And every person dealt with it it seems the same way, by withdrawing from others.
And they couldn’t escape it.
It wasn’t working!

No amount of time or distraction was bringing them the hope and healing they wanted.
In the movie I believe in life…
We can carry pain.
And we need others to help us through.
Not to forget, but to loosen its hold on us.

The one thing you are desperately trying to avoid is maybe the one thing you need. 

Reaching out to someone or a small group of someone’s you can love and who can love you back. 

Just one person you can trust and open your heart to could be all you need to release your pain.

Something to think about…

I Quit - no really I did quit

Late last year I quit!

That's right I resigned a role and qualification I have had for some 17 years. 

Something I sacrificed to achieve for over a decade leading to achieving the goal.

Something I studied and prepared for, for some decades.\

This decision process was something I literally agonised over for many months. 

In part because of my pride.

In part because of the price paid to get there.

And in huge part because it had a nagging tinge of defeat in my soul attached.

But here its the thing and few other things I have learned through this process...

Sometimes quitting is an act of cowardice.

And sometimes it is a show of bravery.

Not quitting is sometimes based on fear.

And other times quitting is a declaration of faith.

Here is another concept to consider...

It always looks different out the other side. Always!

Before making this decision, I didn't want to make it because I didn't know what the other side of it would feel like or look like? What the cost my be?

In hindsight it wasn't that bad. 

And actually my perspective has changed. 

Something I could see before the call being made.

No one wanted the make the decision for me!

You need to know in your own heart whether quitting is right.

Get advice. Meditate on the ramifications. Let your conscience help guide.

Before you quit...

Ask your own heart why you think you should.

Ask someone else who won't be guaranteed to just agree what they think.

Ask others who know you best.

Be honest and be brave.

Something to think about...

 

I know I don't write as much anymore...

Lots of reasons for that and too long to explain in this simple thought, so maybe another day...

What I haven't ever stopped doing is looking at the world, what I believe to be true, what I am experiencing in life, and then trying to process it as logically as possible.

Many times over the last few years I have thought about writing on this topic of truth and felt so unqualified, so nervous, even too insecure to put "pen to paper" or words on a post. I am still there but also struggling not to say something or a whole lot of somethings!

I recognise that I have certain beliefs, dogmas and values. I truly hope they are right or as close to right as possible, with some possibility and opportunity to tweak and develop them better as time goes by.

So here is the essence of this simple thought today.

I am very concerned that we are all being conned.

I am basing this on several years of difficult research. Hours of reviewing my beliefs/truths against the backdrop of the social media I follow, the YouTube channels I watch and the ensuing recommendations each platform type gives me.

My discovery is maybe not new to you but I have come to fully believe our lives are being polarised potentially on purpose. The bias of algorithms are pervasive. They only ever push you in a direction someone else appears to have chosen for you or reinforces a position you already hold.

So here I am wondering if you or anyone else wants me to explain this further?

Or is this just for me to have realisation about?

Do I even want to put my head above the parapet of convention to be potentially fired upon?

At the least I want to encourage to look beyond what is being presented as truth these days.

And maybe I am fishing to see if this is the direction I should go, whether you want me to get back on the YouTube horse (or similar) and share my thoughts more about and with the world?

Something to think about...

and something I would love your feedback on!

Overcooked or Undercooked Faith

Today I decided to take a break from podcasts or talk back radio on my drive home from a delivery I made. Flicked on my iTunes and it played More than Able by Elevation.

I have heard it a few times and always enjoyed the musical space in the chorus but I also have to admit that I have a problem with it. Not the song really, but what it causes me to do, the reaction I have to it specifically. When I listen to it it makes me think and ponder many things. Some macro and some micro.

For me personally I begin to question whether I really do believe the sentiment.

During the chorus is makes we consider whether I do believe God is more than able in my life or whether through all my hurts that my faith has been tarnished?

And then that phrase at end reflecting on whether God is finished with us yet, or us individually, that gets to me honestly, because I have many times wondered whether He has finished with me?

As I pondered this more and more I kept coming back to something that I have always believed from his word, that faith is what pleases God.

It is not the looking good. Or nailing some spiritual discipline for everyone to see. It seems to always come back to be faith.

So here I am pondering faith, my faith, where ever that might be...

And then I pictured others reaction to this song and the same sentiments.

I have seen polarised positions on this recently.

One group are believing for amazing things. They are praying hard. They are responding in a worship service according, stirred to believe God is more than able as the song is sung.

There is another who struggles to believe God for anything beyond the most simple. Who look at the first group with a healthy dose of cynicism for their hyper faith.

Honestly it is easy to be in either camp!

You can be caught up in moment believing for the most amazing.

Or you can be practical, maybe even cynical in another moment in time.

What I keep coming back to is personal.

It is not what the hyper faith believe or what the cynics say to counter things.

It is always what is happening in my heart that matters most.

So maybe what I am trying to say is this...

Don't compare you faith or passion or belief to everyone else like you have to compete to receive.

Don't allow your heart to explain things away, or be bitter due to hurt and cynicism.

Try and do faith just you and God in quietness and confidence.

Pray and allow God to shape faith in your life and do what you can to live by faith.

That is part of my journey right now. Maybe that is part of yours as well?

Something to think about....